Burning My Immortal To The Ground
by Midnight Crew
Summary: The story is back. Ebony has arrived and is brainwashing everyone and it's only flames that can stop her.
1. And So It Began

**Hey Guys, here is the story that started it all; Burning My Immortal to The Ground. Instead of just redoing each chapter and since we have all the chapters. I'm going to post all the chapters we have and when do the ones we haven't yet. So here, have a chapter.**

**For those that never read this review before: It started out as a solo review, Spades hadn't actually started reviewing with me, just helping me out here and there. She does join up later I think.**

* * *

**I decided to do a flaming review of My Immortal. Regular is her, Bold is me.**

**I do not own Harry Potter, that belongs to J.K.R.**

**I do not own My Immortal (Thank God, Ra, The Mirthful Messiahs, and every other religious deity out there.) That belongs to Tara.**

Chapter 1.

AN: Special fangz (get it, coz Im goffik)

**And thus was born the 'Fangz' thing.**

2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2!

**You know, if your life was really depressing, a normal person wouldn't post it on the internet for billions to see.**

MCR ROX!

**Random and useless information. Don't worry people, you will see a lot of that.**

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name)

**Okay, so if I have a son who has blonde hair, I should just name him Blondie? Thanks, my son is now going to be the laughing stock of the entire school thanks to your logic.**

with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!).

**I'm pretty sure you don't look like Amy Lee, she is actually attractive and you, not so much.**

I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie.

…**.You desire incest?**

I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white. I have pale white skin.

**If you're a vampire, of course you're going to have pale white skin.**

I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England

**SCOTLAND, Hogwarts is in Scotland you dunce.**

where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell)

**Oh, you're a goth? I thought you were a Prep, or a loner, or maybe even that weird kid in the corner, I would have never guessed!**

***Sarcasm mode active***

and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there.

**I'm sorry isn't Hot Topic mostly a store for wannabe goths? I went there a few times and really, there was nothing that 'gothic' about it. I did find a rack of outfits from the Naruto series, and my Avenged Sevenfold CD's there.**

For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner and red eye shadow.

**Long clothing description everyone! Don't worry, Tara just LOVES focusing more on what people are wearing then the actual plot of the story.**

I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining so there was no sun, which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

**Hey, that's rude you bitch. What if they were staring at you because they really liked your outfit?**

"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was…. Draco Malfoy!

**Were those periods supposed to be for suspense? Because that was just a crappy attempt at suspense.**

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing." he said shyly.

…**.Shy….Draco? BWHAHAHAHAH Okay this girl needs glasses because obviously that's not Draco!**

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.

AN: IS it good? PLZ tell me fangz!

**It's not good, you should burn this now. Trust me on this.**


	2. GC is in this world?

**Warning: Complete Stupidity and Poor Writing Skills in My Immortal**

Chapter 2.

AN: Fangz 2 bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da chapta!

**Maybe this chapter will be better with help.**

BTW preps stop flaming ma story ok!

**How do you know they are preps? Maybe your reviewers who are flaming you are goths.**

The next day I woke up in my bedroom. It was snowing and raining again.

**Is that even possible? I've never heard of it snowing and raining before, since Snow is frozen rain.**

I opened the door of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I had.

**I'm tempted to say that's not blood, just red Gatorade.**

My coffin was black ebony and inside it was hot pink velvet

**I'm not a goth, but since when was Pink, HOT pink, gothic?**

with black lace on the ends. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I used for pajamas.

**That poor, abused shirt.**

Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a pentagram necklace, combat boots and black fishnets on. I put on four pairs of earrings in my pierced ears, and put my hair in a kind of messy bun.

**A messy bun…that doesn't sound Gothic. FAKER!**

My friend, Willow (AN: Raven dis is u!)

**Wow, self inserts of friends, I would have never guessed**

***Sarcasm Mode Active***

**Can someone shut that thing off? I don't need it interrupting my review.**

woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long waist-length raven black hair with pink streaks and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on her Marilyn Manson t-shirt

**My God! Another abused shirt!**

with a black mini, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup (black lipstick white foundation and black eyeliner.)

**Why does she need foundation? She's already pale!**

"OMFG, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!" she said excitedly.

**I got a question, does anyone actually say 'OMFG'? The letters not 'Oh My Fucking God'**

"Yeah? So?" I said, blushing.

"Do you like Draco?" she asked as we went out of the Slytherin common room and into the Great Hall.

"No I so fucking don't!" I shouted.

**Fuck, girl, no need to scream.**

"Yeah right!" she exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

**He has a gun behind him, he's going to shoot Ebony and save us all.**

"Hi." he said.

"Hi." I replied flirtily.

…**.You just said you don't like him, you just said and I quote, 'No I so fucking don't', now you're trying to flirt with him… just…no comment.**

"Guess what." he said.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, Good Charlotte are having a concert in Hogsmeade." he told me.

"Oh. My. Fucking. God!" I screamed. I love GC. They are my favorite band, besides MCR.

**We get it, you like MCR**

"Well…. do you want to go with me?" he asked.

I gasped.

**Was that supposed to be suspense? Tara: The worst author at suspense.**


	3. Feed her to the Spider!

** Three out of Thirty One chapters until we start reviewing it. Yay?**

* * *

**Hey guys, welcome to chapter three, glad to see you're all back. Well that is if you didn't run away in fear because this is My Immortal.**

**I'm surprised I got reviews so shortly after posting it.**

**Because the chapters are short, there will be quick updates.**

**Again, I own nothing but the bold.**

Chapter 3.

AN: STOP FLAMMING DA STORY PREPZ OK!

'**Preps' Keep flaming the story! ITS NO WHERE CLOSE TO BEING ASHES**

odderwize fangs 2 da goffik ppl 4 da good reveiws!

**Oh God… people actually reviewed positively? **

FANGS AGEN RAVEN! oh yeah, BTW I don't own dis or da lyrics 4 Good Chralotte.

…**.That isn't a good sign. But if you're a fan, spell the damn name right!**

On the night of the concert I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather minidress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky.

**Wasn't that counter productive?**

I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists.

**One, why were you depressed when you were going on a date? Second, just…..there is going to be a lot of that in here isn't there?**

I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding

**I hope she didn't bandage it, because then she would bleed to death. How the hell does she bleed anyways? She's undead.**

and I listened to some GC. I painted my nails black and put on TONS of black eyeliner.

**You my friend-**

***Sarcasm Mode Active***

**I'll ignore it this time, but you my 'friend', must have one very big and thick neck muscles to be able to support tons of makeup on your face.**

Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn't put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I was ready to go to the concert.

**Hey, hopefully she gets a disease, dies and this can be over.**

I went outside. Draco was waiting there in front of his flying car.

**So, Draco, the same Draco who is part of a muggle hating group, owns a car, which is muggle technology.**

He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too),

**Simple Plan- Started in 1999 under the name Reset, they did not become Simple Plan until 2008. When Harry Potter was in its 7****th**** year, it was 1997. Simple Plan does not exist for another eleven years.**

baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (AN: A lot fo kewl boiz wer it ok!).

"Hi Draco!" I said in a depressed voice.

**Why the fuck are you depressed? You have nothing to be depressed about unless you found out that you were in a shitty story.**

"Hi Ebony." he said back. We walked into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666)

…**Because that's cool?**

and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and drugs.

**And crashed into a tree because you were both stupid and high, the end!**

When we got there, we both hopped out of the car.

**Hopped out? Like a bunny, are you two wearing little rabbit outfits too?**

We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

"You come in cold, you're covered in blood They're all so happy you've arrived The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom She sets you free into this life." sang Joel (I don't own da lyrics 2 dat song).

**If you owned the lyrics, I think I would have to kill someone.**

"Joel is so fucking hot." I said to Draco, pointing to him as he sung, filling the club with his amazing voice.

…**Girl….you never, EVER, say that to your date ON YOUR DATE! **

***Rage Mode Active***

**Oh, that's new.**

Suddenly Draco looked sad.

"What's wrong?" I asked as we moshed to the music.

**What's…wrong…**

**Whats…wrong?**

**You. Are. An. Idiot.**

**And how do you 'moshed to the music'?**

Then I caught on.

**Thank the Mirthful Messiahs.**

"Hey, it's ok I don't like him better than YOU!" I said.

"Really?" asked Draco sensitively and he put his arm around me all protective.

**Draco, quit being attached to her, she's a whore. Just throw your arms in the air and storm off and take the car that you shouldn't own. She can walk back to Hogwarts.**

"Really." I said. "Besides I don't even know Joel and he's going out with Hilary fucking Duff. I fucking hate that little bitch." I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

**Hey, what's wrong with Hilary? I can understand Lindsay Lohan hate.**

The night went on really well, and I had a great time. So did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer

**Underage Drinking, that is two or three things that they have done illegally this chapter.**

and asked Benji and Joel for their autographs and photos with them.

**Why would Draco want to be in a picture with muggles? THAT IS NOT A MALFOY!**

We got GC concert tees. Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn't go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into… the Forbidden Forest!

**Poor Suspense again. Maybe he's going to feed her to the Acromantulas.**


	4. The name is Enoby not Ebony!

**Warning- This chapter contains Tara's deluded idea of a lemon.**

Chapter 4.

AN: I sed stup flaming ok ebony's name is ENOBY nut mary su

**Oh, glad we got that out of the way. I've been calling her Ebony, it's great to know her name is Enoby.**

***Sarcasm Mode***

**For the love of- I thought I turned that thing off!**

OK! DRACO IS SOO IN LUV wif her dat he is acting defrent!

**If I dated someone and they started acting like Draco, I would dump them. Acting like him is just embarrassing. **

dey nu eechodder b4 ok!

**And this is something that will never be explained before. Had she not put it in her screamy-yelly authors note, no one would have known they were childhood friends.**

"DRACO!" I shouted. "What the fuck do you think you are doing?"

**Enoby, don't you remember what I said last chapter? He's going to feed you to those giant spiders!**

Draco didn't answer but he stopped the flying car and he walked out of it. I walked out of it too, curiously.

**How do you walk out of a car? I've seen people get out, then start walking, but never just start walking out of it. Is that even possible?**

"What the fucking hell?" I asked angrily.

"Ebony?" he asked.

"What?" I snapped.

**Draco, you called her by the wrong name, now she's mad. Her name is Enoby, call her that and she may be less of a bitch. Key word being 'may'.**

Draco leaned in extra-close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts)

**I don't think they make 'gothic red' contact lens, you should probably go see a doctor.**

which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn't feel mad anymore.

**Well, at least he's somewhat evil. I personally never really classified Draco as being pure evil like the others. More as just doing what he could to make his parents proud. I mean being a jerk is kind of expected with how he was probably raised.**

And then… suddenly just as I Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly against a tree.

**Oh God, that poor tree. It's going to need a few decades of therapy.**

He took of my top and I took of his clothes. I even took of my bra.

**Why the hell was Draco wearing your bra? I would be asking him about that instead of kissing him.**

Then he put his thingie into my you-know-what and we did it for the first time.

**Wow, that was the shortest and least descriptive sex scene ever! If there was a prize for it, I'm sure you would have won it! Round of applause everyone for Tara who just won the 'Shittiest Sex Scene Ever' Award!**

"Oh! Oh! Oh! " I screamed. I was beginning to get an orgasm.

**Really? You don't sound like it. He must suck at sex then.**

We started to kiss everywhere and my pale body became all warm.

**To feel warm, you need blood. Vampires don't have blood, thus you shouldn't be able to bleed.**

And then….

**Shitty suspense! *Drumroll***

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU MOTHERFUKERS!"

It was….Dumbledore!

**Best line ever right there!**


	5. The Uno is down to Dos

**Well guys, this is t-**

**This is the chapter _I _am in! The first review I ever made! Aww wasn't I just adorable back then?**

**Spades! This is a review that was just months ago, not baby pictures...why the hell are you looking at baby pictures? *Yanks pictures away*...WHY THE HELL ARE YOU LOOKING AT _MY _BABY PICTURES?!**

***Whispers to readers* M.C was an adorable little baby. **

**SHUT UP!**

* * *

**Welcome back, t****oday we have a sorta-guest reader. My Co-Commentator, an annoying friend who wishes to be known as Spades on here. I don't know why she wants to be called that, I just roll with it. Anything typed like ****this**** is Spades. **

**As a warning, she will be showing up for various chapters, whenever the lazy girl feels like it to be more precise. So expect to see more of her then just this chapter.**

**I hope.**

Chapter 5.

**Wow, chapter five already?**

**These chapters are short, you get by them quickly and thank the Mirthful M's, it would be more painful if the chapters were long.**

AN: STOP flaming!

**Keep Flaming!**

if u flam it menz ur a prep or a posr!

**I'm neither Prep, Poser, or Goth. World aint split into three categories.**

**There is a fourth category, Loners!**

Da only reson Dumbledeor swor is coz he had a hedache

**Maybe you should mention that in the chapter he yells, like saying 'Dumbledore yelled at them, his head throbbing with pain from his migraine.' Instead of waiting till you get complaints about it.**

**She doesn't really think through her chapters does she.**

**I think she's just typing what comes to her mind first.**

ok an on tup of dat he wuz mad at dem 4 having sexx!

**That is legitimate reason to be mad at them.**

PS im nut updating umtil I get five good revoiws!

**Means you're going to get 5 Anonymous reviews that are good, or your going to make some fake accounts to get the reviews.**

Dumbledore made and Draco and I follow him. He kept shouting at us angrily.

"You ludacris fools!" he shouted.

**I can actually see him yelling that at them. Wow.**

I started to cry tears of blood down my pallid face.

**Oh god, tears of BLOOD? Can you become any more of a sterotype?**

**She's a vampire right? Vampires don't have blood.**

**EXACTLY**

Draco comforted me. When we went back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry.

**What's the professor from Gryffindor doing there?**

"They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!" he yelled in a furious voice.

**And those giant spider things didn't eat them!**

**Acromantula. I don't think she even knows about them.**

"Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?" asked Professor McGonagall.

**Okay, now this is getting suspicious. They are in character, or so it seems.**

**Trust me, Spades, it's not going to last.**

"How dare you?" demanded Professor Snape.

And then Draco shrieked. "BECAUSE I LOVE HER!"

**Oh, you were in love with her? It was so well hidden, I would have never guessed!**

***Sarcasm Mode Active***

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad but Professor Snape said. "Fine. Very well. You may go up to your rooms."

**Yeah, the guy who was willing to give detentions just for forgetting a potion or something, won't give a pair of students detention for having sex in the Forbidden Forest. Sounds legit.**

**Must be the perks of being Slytherin**

Draco and I went upstairs while the teachers glared at us.

"Are you okay, Ebony?" Draco asked me gently.

**It's Enoby, not Ebony! Get it right, Malfoy!**

"Yeah I guess." I lied.

**See! She's so angry that she's lying to you now! Some boyfriend you are, forgetting her name!**

I went to the girl's dorm and brushed my teeth and my hair and changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels.

**What? Are you going to a dance or something?**

When I came outâ Ś.

**Is all the suspense this bad?**

**Yes.**

Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing 'I just wanna live' by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered, even though he wasn't supposed to be there.

**Flattered? I would be more like demanding what he was doing in my room!**

We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

**Draco wouldn't have left if he didn't want to, he would have been a stubborn dick and stayed until someone he had to listen to made him leave.**


	6. Vampire Potter

**Well, Spades decided not to do this chapter. She'll return. She always does. So beware later chapters when she shows up again. (Beware the later stories I showed up in MWAHAHAHAAH! *Gets hit in the head by M.C*)**

AN: shjt up prepz ok!

**I am not a prep.**

PS I wnot update ubtil u give me goood revows!

**You said that last time, yet you reviewed.**

The next day I woke up in my coffin.

**I wish you woke up out of your coffin, in like broad sunlight so you can burst into flames and die. It would stop a lot of misery.**

I put on a black miniskirt that was all ripped around the end and a matching top with red skulls all over it and high heeled boots that were black. I put on two pairs of skull earrings, and two crosses in my ears. I spray-painted my hair with purple.

**Spray paint isn't for hair. And if you put crosses in your ears, why aren't you in pain? Vampires can't touch crosses. Unless…**

**FAKER!**

In the Great Hall, I ate some Count Chocula cereal with blood instead of milk, and a glass of red blood.

**Of course, a vampire must eat Count Chocula.**

Suddenly someone bumped into me. All the blood spilled over my top.

**Yay, now change into something decent.**

"Bastard!" I shouted angrily. I regretted saying it when I looked up cause I was looking into the pale white face of a gothic boy with spiky black hair with red streaks in it.

**Oh God, don't tell me you got another boy toy now. This is like Twilight, only it's Ebony instead of Bella, Gothic Draco instead of Edward, and Goth Boy 2 instead of Jacob, and yeah, that's even worse than Twilight.**

He was wearing so much eyeliner that I was going down his face and he was wearing black lipstick.

**Yeah, that looks awesome, you look great Goth Boy 2, really wonderful.**

***Sarcasm Mode Active***

**One sec, I need to go unplug that machine…**

He didn't have glasses anymore and now he was wearing red contact lenses just like Draco's

**Just like Draco, you should get a doctor to look at it- Wait…don't tell me….**

and there was no scar on his forhead anymore.

**Oh God…no! Don't panic MC! It could be anyone who suffered a head injury! Maybe the scar was because he fell down a flight of stairs! She wouldn't really-**

He had a manly stubble on his chin. He had a sexy English accent. He looked exactly like Joel Madden.

**I'm sorry, but if it's who I think it is, they look nothing alike.**

He was so sexy that my body went all hot when I saw him kind of like an erection only I'm a girl so I didn't get one you sicko.

**You said it, not me. And don't you have a boyfriend? I always knew you were a slut.**

"I'm so sorry." he said in a shy voice.

"That's all right. What's your name?" I questioned.

**That's all right? He spilt blood on you and now it looks like your boobs are having their period.**

"My name's Harry Potter,

**NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!**

although most people call me Vampire these days." he grumbled.

"Why?" I exclaimed.

"Because I love the taste of human blood." he giggled.

**OH SWEET MIRTHFUL MESSIAHS! HE DOES NOT GIGGLE!**

**And did she turn him into a hematophagy?**

"Well, I am a vampire." I confessed.

"Really?" he whimpered.

"Yeah." I roared.

**Does she just randomly roar? The entire room is probably staring at her. Who just roars 'yeah'? **

We sat down to talk for a while. Then Draco came up behind me and told me he had a surprise for me so I went away with him

**Yeah, Draco, remember, your boyfriend. Not Vampire Fucking Potter.**

burning y immotal


	7. Inconsistancy on Nail Polish

**Warning- This chapter contains Tara's pathetic idea of what a lemon is like.**

**You Have Been Warned.**

AN: wel ok u guyz im only writting dis cuz I got 5 god reviuws.

**And all respect for humanity just went down the toilet.**

n BTW I wont rite da nxt chapter til I git TIN god vons!

**News Flash: TIN is not a number!**

STO FLAMING OR ILL REPORT U!

**That's gonna take a while, you'll have to report every. Single. Review.**

Evony

**That's a game, you nitwit! Her name is Enoby!**

isn't a Marie Sue ok she isn't perfect SHES A SATANITS!

**I kind of want to go out and defend all the real Satanists out there right now but I think I might just end up enlarging the ego's of the fake Satanists *Cough* Tara Wannabes *Cough***

n she has problemz shes depressed 4 godz sake!

**Tara, you turned every character you like in here into a Satanist depressed whiny pansy bitch.**

Draco and I held our pale white hands with black nail polish

**Was the 'pale Hands' and 'Black Nail Polish' info needed?**

as we went upstairs. I was wearing red Satanist sings on my nails in red nail polish

**You just said it was black nail polish.**

(AN: c doez dat sound lik a Maru Sue 2 u?).

**Rule Number One- If you have to argue about it and say 'does that sound like a mary sue' about your character, then she IS a mary sue.**

I waved to Vampire. Dark misery was in his depressed eyes. I guess he was jealous of me that I was going out with Draco.

**So, he want's Draco? WHAT ABOUT GINNY?**

Anyway, I went upstairs excitedly with Draco. We went into his room and locked the door. Then…

**He took out his wand, cast a spell and Enoby melted from the inside. Everyone lived happily ever after, the end.**

We started frenching passively

**Sheesh, you guys must not like it that much if it's all passive.**

and we took off each others clothes enthusiastically.

**Contradiction right there. This isn't a Starbursts commercial.**

He felt me up before I took of my top. Then I took off my black leather bra

**That…can't be comfortable. Why would they make leather bras?**

and he took off his pants. We went on the bed and started making out naked and then he put his boy's thingy in mine and we HAD SEX. (c is dat stupid?)

**Putting it in caps doesn't make it any less stupid.**

"Oh Draco, Draco!" I screamed while getting an orgasm

**Could you at least sound like it?**

when all of a sudden I saw a tattoo I had never seen before on Draco's arm. It was a black heart with an arrow through it.

**Real original, Draco.**

On it in bloody gothic writing were the words… Vampire!

**Finally some drama! Shitty drama that…fuck this is just making it even shittier. Needless love triangles, I can check that off my list of clichés.**

I was so angry.

**Guess what, no one cares.**

"You bastard!" I shouted angrily, jumping out of the bed.

"No! No! But you don't understand!" Draco pleaded. But I knew too much.

**She knows too much Draco, we have to kill her!**

"No, you fucking idiot!" I shouted. "You probably have AIDs anyway!"

**If he has aids, you have them too, you did have sex the other day. Against a tree. I wonder how that tree is doing. I should send it a gift basket to help it recover.**

I put on my clothes all huffily

**Huf- wait no, to easy.**

and then stomped out. Draco ran out even though he was naked. He had a really big you-know-what but I was too mad to care.

**I don't think we really cared about how big his dick was. Yes, you can say dick.**

I stomped out and did so until I was in Vampire's classroom where he was having a lesson with Professor Snape and some other people.

**Snape is going to hurt you for interrupting class. Do it! Let him kill you so we can end this!**

"VAMPIRE POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I yelled

**What, did he fuck your mother too?**


	8. Crying Tits

Chapter 8.

AN: stop flassing ok!

**Please explain, Tara, how does one 'flass'?**

if u do de prep!

**So, people with an actual brain are preps? Then I suppose I should be proud to be a 'prep'.**

Everyone in the class stared at me

**Duh, you just barged into the class.**

and then Draco came into the room even though he was naked and started begging me to take him back.

**That's…not…Draco…. Hey, can someone give me a gun so I can shoot this faker?**

"Ebony, it's not what you think!" Draco screamed sadly.

**Of course she's gonna be too stupid to listen.**

My friend B'loody Mary Smith smiled at me understatedly.

**Who the F is she? Another OC?**

She flipped her long waste-length gothic black hair and opened her crimson eyes like blood

**Blood is actually darker then crimson, it always irks me when people assume blood red and crimson are the same shade. **

**Also, as with Vampire and Draco, go the effing doctors.**

that she was wearing contact lenses on. She had pale white skin that she was wearing white makeup on.

**White wear white makeup when you're already pale white? It's pointless.**

Hermione was kidnapped when she was born.

**Random?...Oh fuck….no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no oh please fuck no.**

Her real parents are vampires and one of them is a witch but Voldemort killed her mother and her father committed suicide because he was depressed about it. She still has nightmares about it and she is very haunted and depressed.

**FUCK NO!**

It also turns out her real last name is Smith and not Granger. (Since she has converted to Satanism she is in Slytherin now not Griffindoor. )

**You cannot change your house! Once you are a Gryffindor you are always a Gryffindor! And just because she's a Satanist she has to be in Slytherin? Tara you obviously don't understand how they are placed in houses. It's by things they value.**

"What is it that you desire, you ridiculous dimwit!" Snape demeaned angrily in his cold voice but I ignored him.

**NEVER Ignore Snape.**

"Vampire, I can't believe you cheated on me with Draco!" I shouted at him.

**Uh, unless you were dating Vampire, which means you were cheating on Draco, then Vampire didn't cheat on you. Draco would have cheated on you.**

Everyone gasped.

I don't know why Ebony was so mad at me.

**Wait, what? Is this a Point of View change? She didn't say anything about it.**

I had went out with Vampire (I'm bi and so is Ebony)

**No offense meant towards anyone who really is bisexual or homosexual. But I call bullshit on what Draco just said.**

for a while but then he broke my heart. He dumped me because he liked Britney, a stupid preppy fucker.

**Hate her because your ex is dating her or because she's a prep?**

We were just good friends now. He had gone through horrible problems, and now he was gothic. (Haha, like I would hang out with a prep.)

**Apparently you did.**

"But I'm not going out with Draco anymore!" said Vampire.

"Yeah fucking right! Fuck off, you bastard!" I screamed.

**Back to Ebony?**

I ran out of the room and into the Forbidden Forest where I had lost my virility to Draco

**So Ebony was a man before fucking Draco. Good to know? Though it might make a bit more sense as to why she's so messed up. No offense to anyone who really is a MtF or FtM. **

and then I started to bust into tears.

**Bad bust! Bad boobs! Quit crying! It's bad enough you had to have your period two chapters ago.**


	9. VOLDEMORT

**Sorry for the late update, I've been kind of sick lately with a bad cold. Then Spades dragged me off to the State Fair, it was fun, got to see a Three Doors Down concert there and get a nice 3DD shirt. Though I think my cold got worse because of that day.**

**My cold, and as a result, my seemingly never-ending headache is going away it would seem, so I managed to suck it up and write a new chapter.**

**Also, I am currently adding all of my chapters to my Deviant Art account, MidnightCr3w, as well. So if you would rather read it on Deviant Art, go ahead. I am currently at chapter 2 on there.**

Chapter 9.

AN: stop flaming ok! I dntn red all da boox!

**That's never a good sign, but it explains all the OOCness we see.**

dis is frum da movie ok so itz nut my folt if dumbeldor swers!

**Did he swear a lot in the movie? I don't think so, so yeah, it's still your fault.**

besuizds I SED HE HAD A HEDACHE!

**You should make better excuses for your own shitty writing.**

and da reson snap dosent lik harry now is coz hes christian and vampire is a satanist!

**So, Dumbledore now discriminates against other religions? Great to know that Dumbledore is a major jackass.**

MCR ROX!

**Can you just go one chapter without that stupid thing? **

I was so mad and sad. I couldn't believe Draco for cheating on me.

**In hindsight, you should have seen it coming, you are a shitty character and as such, a shitty girlfriend.**

I began to cry against the tree where I did it with Draco.

**Looks like we got to add another twenty years for therapy. You do know you're going to be paying for it, right?**

Then all of a suddenly,

**Someone took out a bazooka and shot at you, you're dead. The end.**

an horrible man with red eyes and no nose and everything

**And everything? What is this everything? That's a bad description you know.**

started flying towards me on a broomstick! He didn't have a nose

**You already said that. Welcome to the department of redundancy department Ebony.**

(basically like Voldemort in the movie) and he was wearing all black but it was obvious he wasn't gothic. It was… Voldemort!

**You know, even with your shitty suspense, that was just the worse. Next time if you want to be suspenseful, don't say it's Voldemort before doing the suspense 'it's Voldemort'.**

**Wait…fuck she's gonna fuck him up too isn't she.**

"No!" I shouted in a scared voice but then Voldemort shouted "Imperius*!" and I couldn't run away.

**It's IMPERIO.**

"Crookshanks**!" I shouted at him.

**Crookshanks…is Hermione's cat….**

Voldemort fell of his broom and started to scream. I felt bad for him even though I'm a sadist so I stopped.

**That's…not even a spell…*Eye twitch***

"Ebony." he yelled. "Thou must kill Vampire Potter!"

**He…doesn't…talk…like…that….**

I thought about Vampire and his sexah eyes and his gothic black hair and how his face looks just like Joel Madden.

**He doesn't…look…like Joel…Madden.**

I remembered that Draco had said I didn't understand, so I thought, what if Draco went out with Vampire before I went out with him and they broke up?

**Weren't you listening…at…all? *Eye twitch***

"No, Voldemort!" I shouted back.

Voldemort gave me a gun. "No! Please!" I begged.

**A….gun….A GUN…? **

***RAGE MODE ACTIVATED***

**WHY THE FUCK DOES A WIZARD HAVE A GUN WHEN THEY HAVE WANDS?! A GUN IS NOTHING AGAINST MAGIC?! OH GOD I'M SO SICK AND TIRED OF TARA DESTROYING ALL THESE GREAT CHARACTERS! VOLDEMORT HATES! AND I MEAN HATES MUGGLE TECH! WHY WOULD HE HAVE A GUN!? WHY NOT JUST SHOOT EBONY?**

***Get's shot with a tranquilizer***

**Why…fuck wh…..thanks I needed that.**

"Thou must!" he yelled. "If thou does not, then I shall kill thy beloved Draco!"

"How did you know?" I asked in a surprised way.

Voldemort got a dude-ur-so-retarded look on his face.

**Finally someone does something that makes sense!**

"I hath telekinesis." he answered cruelly.

**You can move shit with your mind? Good for you, most people can move stuff with their wands.**

"And if you doth not kill Vampire, then thou know what will happen to Draco!" he shouted. Then he flew away angrily on his broomstick.

**Why not just kill her and save the world the trouble? Why Voldemort? You truly are evil.**

I was so scared and mad I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Draco came into the woods.

**Please kill her…please kill her.**

"Draco!" I said. "Hi!"

"Hi." he said back but his face was all sad.

**Duh, you were a major bitch to him.**

He was wearing white foundation and messy eyeliner kind of like a pentagram (geddit)

**It's. Not. Funny.**

between Joel Madden and Gerard Way.

**You just love making all these characters look like people you love even if they look nothing alike.**

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"No." he answered.

"I'm sorry I got all mad at you but I thought you cheated on me." I expelled.

**That would be a funny image.**

"That's okay." he said all depressed and we went back into Hogwarts together making out.

**There is a joke somewhere in that sentence, but I don't know if I want to make it.**


	10. Hey this is Spades chappie

**Hey everyone, this is Spades. MC is currently taking a 'break' from this for a while, he's had it up to here *points at the top of a skyscraper* of Tara and My Immortal. So, because I am a good Co-Author despite anything he might have told you, I'm going to be running the updates and commentary until he is prepared to face more of hells. He'll still respond to his messages and answer any questions, I'll just be writing the Burning My Immortal To The Ground.**

**Also, we've come up with an idea. Would you guys like it if we drew a drawing for this series? Yes? No? Shut up and start the commentary? Okay.**

Chapter 10.

AN: stup it u gay fags

**I'm not gay don't worry. Have my doubts that MC is perfectly straight though.**

…

**Don't tell him I said that, please.**

if u donot lik ma story den fukk off!

**We'll do that, as soon as you repost this story with proper spelling.**

ps it turnz out b'loody mary isn't a muggle afert al

**She never was a Muggle, her parents were Muggles.**

n she n vampire r evil datz y dey movd houses ok!

**I think MC already brushed upon this, but you can't move houses you twat.**

I was really scared about Vlodemort all day.

**You….yeah that's something you should be afraid of.**

I was even upset went to rehearsals with my gothic metal band Bloody Gothic Rose 666.

**Oh god, she's in a band too? Fuck this shit.**

I am the lead singer of it and I play guitar.

**Of course.**

People say that we sound like a cross between GC, Slipknot and MCR.

**That honestly doesn't sound that great. *Shudders***

The other people in the band are B'loody Mary, Vampire, Draco, Ron (although we call him Diabolo now. He has black hair now with blue streaks in it.)

**I'm just going to pretend that Ron, Harry and Hermione are all on vacation. **

and Hargrid. Only today Draco and Vampire were depressed so they weren't coming and we wrote songs instead.

**If your boyfriend is depressed you should go see him.**

I knew Draco was probably slitting his wrists

**Even more reason to be with him you bitch.**

(he wouldn't die because he was a vampire too and the only way you can kill a vampire is with a c-r-o-s-s (there's no way I'm writing that)

**You've written it before in other chapters. In Chapter Six you were wearing two crosses. You. Are. A. Faker. Bitch.**

or a steak)

**I wanna make a meat pun so badly right now.**

and Vampire was probably watching a depressing movie like The Corpse Bride.

**How...the fuck is that a depressing movie!? I watched it when I was like six, that movie was cute. I shun you for that!**

I put on a black leather shirt that showed off my boobs and tiny matching miniskirt that said Simple Plan on the butt. You might think I'm a slut but I'm really not.

**Unfortunately, your words hold no weight at all as your actions in the past and in the future have proved you are in fact a slut. *Has read My Immortal before this***

We were singing a cover of 'Helena' and at the end of the song I suddenly bust into tears.

**What did MC say to do when this happened?...Oh yeah! Bad busts! You're making a scene! Sheesh why is it that our breasts have to be such crybabies?**

"Ebony! Are you OK?" B'loody Mary asked in a concerted voice.

**Concerted voice lol**

"What the fuck do you think?" I asked angrily.

**Yeah girl, her breasts are crying, she really needs to get someone professional to look at that.**

And then I said. "Well, Voldemort came and the fucking bastard told me to fucking kill Harry!

**Harry? I thought he wanted Vampire Potter dead. I am refusing to believe they are one in the same.**

But I don't want to kill him, because, he's really nice, even if he did go out with Draco.

**Because Ex's are supposed to be pure evil to current BF's or GF's.**

But if I don't kill Harry, then Voldemort, will fucking kill Draco!" I burst into tears. Suddenly Draco jumped out from behind a wall.

**Were you just randomly hiding behind a wall to spy on her? There are horrible for each other yet…they are so bad they should be together. It's scary. **

"Why didn't you fucking tell me!" he shouted.

**YES! He's finally angry at her!**

"How could you- you- you fucking poser muggle bitch!" (c is dat out of character?)

**Remove the 'poser' and yeah, it'll be pretty much in character. HOW HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN FROM THE START.**

I started to cry and cry. Draco started to cry too all sensitive.

**Aaaaaand we're back out of character people.**

Then he ran out crying.

**Is it bad that I imagine him just yelling 'Don't look at me' and running out all girly like, like in those comedies?**

We practiced for one more hour.

**Yeah, because that's what a responsible girlfriend would do after her boyfriend ran out crying. He could be slitting his wrists because he isn't an actual vampire and killing himself because he got roped into this bad fanfiction. But no you're a responsible GF who doesn't give a shit about her BF.**

…

…**.If I ever become the kind of girlfriend she is, someone, anyone really, please beat the living crap out of me.**

Then suddenly Dumbeldore walked in angrily! His eyes were all fiery and I knew this time it wasn't cause he had a headache.

**Is he finally going to expel her?**

"What have you done!" He started to cry wisely.

**Isn't the better question what HASN'T she done?**

(c dats basically nut swering and dis time he wuz relly upset n u wil c y)

**She made Dumbledore cry, I say we should hunt her down and kill her for that. No one makes Dumbly cry.**

"Ebony Draco has been found in his room. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists."

**And yet you say that he can't die from slitting his wrists. You are obviously a liar.**


	11. Cousins of Hagrid

**Since I'm home sick, I'm posting several chapters today. Prepare to be drowned in a tidalwave of updates.**

* * *

**Just to let you know, we still have the poll up on the profile for what story to do next**(The poll is long since taken down. Don't look for the poll)**.**** They are both infamous Twilight stories. You guys can pick which. One is rumored to be by Tara in disguise.**

Chapter 11.

AN: i sed stup flaming up prepz!

**I'd take prep over poser any day. :)**

c if dis chaptr is srupid!1111 it delz wit rly sris issus!

**You heard her, it deals with 'rly sris issues'.**

sp c 4 urself if itz ztupid brw fangz 2 ma frend raven 4 hleping me!

**And so far, it's still completely stupid.**

"NO!" I screamed. I was horrorfied!

**Maybe you shouldn't be a bitch to your boyfriend.**

B'loody Mary tried to comfort me but I told her fuck off

**And being a bitch to friends who want to help.**

and I ran to my room crying myself. Dumbledore chased after me shouting but he had to stop when I went into my room cause he would look like a perv that way.

**So a teacher going into a girls room to comfort her after her boyfriend died means he'd look like a pervert? Just wow, this person has no idea of real life does she?**

Anyway, I started crying tears of blood

**This isn't a vampire thing, it's also not a gothic thing. This girl is neither, she is a demon from hell sent to destroy our minds.**

and then I slit both of my wrists. They got all over my clothes so I took them off and jumped into the bath angrily while I put on a Linkin Park song at full volume.

**Linkin Park? Now she's gonna destroy one of my favorite bands too now? Fuck you.**

I grabbed a steak and almost stuck it into my heart to commit suicide.

**If only she would.**

I was so fucking depressed!

**Aren't you always? It doesn't even count anymore does it?**

I got out of the bathtub and put on a black low-cut dress with lace all over it sandly.

**Sandly, she is related to the Sandman I guess.**

***Gets Shot for bad joke***

I put on black high heels with pink metal stuff on the ends and six pairs of skull earrings.

**Because only have one or two earrings is to 'preppy'.**

I couldn't fucking believe it. Then I looked out the window and screamed…

**I'm going to suspect that was some of that suspense MC is always complaining about.**

Snap was spying on me and he was taking a video tape of me! And Loopin was masticating to it!

**They were eating it?**

They were sitting on their broomsticks.

**She's turned them into perverts.**

"EW, YOU FUCKING PERVS, STOP LOOKING AT ME NAKED! ARE YOU PEDOS OR WHAT!"

**Obviously the two fakes are.**

I screamed putting on a black towel with a picture of Marilyn Mason on it.

**I don't think they make those kinds of towels. And you're already dressed for the love of all things holy.**

Suddenly Vampire ran in.

**To kill her, please.**

"Abra Kedavra!"

**It's Avada Kedavra. Why is Harry doing a Killing Curse? Doing those curses results in life sentences in Azkaban. Wait, she probably doesn't now that.**

he yelled at Snape and Loopin pointing his womb.

**That..is a funny image now.**

I took my gun and shot Snape and Loopin a gazillion times and they both started screaming and the camera broke.

**Why use a gun when you have a wand, moron.**

Suddenly, Dumblydore ran in.

**PFfft...Dumblydore. **

"Ebony, it has been revealed that someone has - NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

**This is what happens when you let stupid Mary Sues in your school, Dumbledore. **

he shouted looking at Snape and Loopin and then he waved his wand and suddenly…

**What's he going to do? Harry did the Killing Spell and there isn't a possibility they'll live. Wait, I forgot.**

**This is My Immortal, where Tara blatantly ignores what happens in Harry Potter.**

Hargrid ran outside on his broom and said everyone we need to talk.

**I know it's already established, but just to renew the fact. **

**Tara SUCKS at writing. :P**

"What do you know, Hargrid? You're just a little Hogwarts student!"

**Uh, no he isn't. He's a groundskeeper cuz he got kicked out of Hogwarts and his wand snapped.**

"I MAY BE A HOGWARTS STUDENT…." Hargirid paused angrily. "BUT I AM ALSO A SATANIST!"

**Great. I'm losing respect for the lovable giant.**

"This cannot be." Snap said in a crisp voice as blood dripped from his hand where Dumblydore's wand had shot him.

**Snape. Harry did the Killing Curse. You're dead. Die. I know it sucks but you're better off dead than being in here.**

"There must be other factors."

**What other factors? It's a type of religion, that's just insulting.**

"YOU DON'T HAVE ANY!" I yelled in madly.

**Any what? **

**Oh I get it!**

**Hagrid doesn't have any chocolate. Everyone wants chocolate and he didn't bring any.**

**Silly Hagrid.**

Loopin held up the camera triumelephantly. "The lens may be ruined but the tape is still there!"

**You're dead too.**

I felt faint, more than I normally do like how it feels when you do not drink enough blood.

**Maybe because you're finally dying? :D**

"Why are you doing this?" Loopin said angrily while he rubbed his dirty hands on his clook.

**Clook? Cloak or Clock? Or C-MMPH *Ductape appears over mouth* Mmmph!**

And then I heard the words that I had heard before but not from him. I did not know whether to feel shocked and happy or to bite him and drink his blood because I felt faint.

**Do the third one. Get Hagrid out of here.**

"BECAUSE…BECAUSE…." Hargid said and he paused in the air dramitaclly, waving his wand in the air. Then swooped he in singing to the tune of a gothic version of a song by 50 Cent.

**Gothic version. He doesn't have a wand.**

"Because you're goffic?" Snap asked in a little afraid voice cause he was afraind it meant he was connected with Satan.

**You do know, being Goth doesn't mean your connected to the devil. People need to realize that.**

"Because I LOVE HER!"

**OH NO! THE POWER OF LOVE! ITS! IT'S TO STRONG! CHANGLINGS WE NEED TO RETREAT!**


	12. VOLDEMORT HAS HIM IN BONDAGE

**Warning: Right off the bat, Tara will be insulting American schools. You have been warned.**

Chapter 12.

AN: stop f,aing ok hargrid is a pedo

**Really? I thought he just thought Ebony was a fifty year old woman. *Face being the picture of innocence***

2 a lot of ppl in amerikan skoolz r lik dat I wunted 2 adres da ishu!

**Oh how wrong you are, bitch. Heheheh.**

how du u no snap iant kristian

**Because does he look like some emotionless girl who played Bella Swan?**

**Oh, abd did you mean Christian? Try to learn to spell.**

plus hargrid isn't really in luv wif ebony dat was sedric ok!

**Sedric? Does anyone know what she is trying to spell?**

I was about to slit my wrists again with the silver knife that Drago

**Who's Drago? You're ****_other _****boyfriend?**

had given me in case anything happened to him. He had told me to use it valiantly against an enemy

**Hm, he seems like a decent boyfriend, if only he knew about Draco.**

but I knew that we must both go together.

**Oh, please do!**

"NO!" I THOUGHT IT WAS HAIRgrid but it was Vampire.

**Lolwut?**

He started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!"

**Can this be...is he dying...? PARTY!**

and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

**Yeah, you can't have whites be red, then they are red, and vice versa.**

I stopped. "How did u know?"

"I saw it! And my scar turned back into the lightning bolt!"

"NO!" I ran up closer. "I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

**The fuck is going on?**

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and it turned back into the lightning bolt! Save me!

**And what is wrong with a lightning bolt scar?**

then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!"

**I so wanna yell this out next time MC asks me if I've seen someone or something. **

***Enter Spade's Mental Theater***

**MC- Spades, have you seen my cat Tiny? Haven't seen her all day.**

**Spades- VOLFEMORT HAS HER IN BONDAGE!**

**MC-...Yeah...you're in-fucking-sane. I'm leaving.**

***Exit Spade's Mental Theater***

Anyway I was in the school nurse's office now recovering from my slit wrists.

**You say you're a vampire who can't die from that, why the hell do you need to recover from it?**

Snap and Loopin and HAHRID were there too.

**Oh, is HAHRID a brother of Hagrids?**

They were going to St. Mango's

**The hospital where vegetables who think they are fruit go to.**

after they recovered cause they were pedofiles and you can't have those fucking pervs teaching in a school with lots of hot gurlz.

**Yeah, I can see where there can be a lot wrong with having pedophiles teaching a school but you're missing one important piece of information:**

**Harry. Used. The. Killing. Curse. On. Them.**

Dumbledore had constipated the cideo camera

**Hehehehehehehe... I don't think I need to make a joke here. It's already to funny.**

they took of me naked.

**...you were wearing a dress.**

I put up my middle finger at them.

**This girl is a bitch. I don't think anyone would care if she died.**

Anyway Hargrid came into my hospital bed holding a bouquet of pink roses.

**Awww...how sweet of him. A little creepy, but still sweet. Now, is there a tiny Acromantula in there to kill her? Are the flowers filled with poison?**

"Enoby I need to tell u somethnig." he said in a v. serious voice, giving me the roses.

**Hagrid- I am really the Grim Reaper. I am here to kill you. Bye.**

"Fuck off." I told him. "You know I fucking hate the color pink anyway,

**Bitch.**

and I don't like fucked up preps like you." I snapped. Hargrid had been mean to me before for being gottik.

**Yet isn't he in your band? Isn't one of the more cliché romances where two people who hate each other end up together?**

"No Enoby." Hargrid says. "Those are not roses."

**The fuck are they then? They sure look like roses. *Smells the not-roses* Oh, you turned a bunch of Tulips to look like Roses.**

"What, are they goffs too you poser prep?" I asked cause I was angry that he had brought me pink roses.

**...You're angry because he brought you flowers...**

**I would love for a guy to give me flowers. I don't give a shit if they are pink or even the color blarg, flowers are sweet and it's sweet if a boy gives you them.**

"I saved your life!" He yelled angrily.

**When did he do that? Hagrid! You should have let her die!**

"No you didn't I replied."

**Yes I did**

**No You didn't **

**Yes**

**No**

**Yes**

**No**

"You saved me from getting a Paris Hilton p- video made from your shower scene and being vued by Snap and Loopin." Who MASTABATED (c is dat speld rong)

**Masturbated is the correct spelling. So the answer is, yes.**

to it he added silently.

**Why silently?**

"Whatever!" I yelled angirly.

He pointed his wand at the pink roses.

**Ah, here we go.**

"These aren't roses." He suddenly looked at them with an evil look in his eye and muttered Well If you wanted Honesty that's all you haD TO SAY! .

"That's not a spell that's an MCR song." I corrected him wisely.

"I know, I was just warming up my vocal cordes."

**Of course, you can't cast a spell without warming up the voice.**

Then he screamed. "Petulus merengo mi kremicli romacio

**Mi Kremicli Romacio? Seriously? SERIOUSLY?**

(4 all u cool goffic mcr fans out, there, that is a tribute! specially for raven I love you girl!)imo noto okayo!"

**...This is just painful.**

And then the roses turned into a huge black flame floating in the middle of the air. And it was black.

**Welcome back to the Department of Redundancy Department, Ebony.**

Now I knew he wasn't a prep.

**Why? Cuz he can make a giant black fire ball? I used to have an character I made when I was little for a game with MC. He could do that, his attack was summoning flames straight from hell. He wasn't Gothic. He wasn't a prep either...He was a prince/genius inventor with a demon counterpart living in his head.**

**MC just had some fairy fox princess.**

**...The fuck were we doing as kids?...**

"OK I believe you now wtf is Drako?"

**What about Draco? And Drago?**

Hairgrid rolled his eyes. I looked into the balls of flame but I could c nothing.

**Welcome to stupidity, Hairgrid. and of course you can't see anything.**

"U c, Enobby," Dumblydore said, watching the two of us watching the flame. "2 c wht iz n da flmes(HAHA U REVIEWRS FLAMES GEDDIT)

**You suck at jokes.**

u mst find urslf 1st, k?"

**She must realize she is in a shitty story**

"I HAVE FOUND MYSELF OK YOU MEAN OLD MAN!" Hargrid yelled. dUMBLydore lookd shockd. I guess he didn't have a headache or else he would have said something back.

**Wasn't Dumbledore talking to Ebony?**

Hairgrid stormed off back into his bed. "U r a liar, prof dumbledoree!"

**No he isn't.**

Anyway when I got better I went upstairs and put on a black leather minidress that was all ripped on the ends with lace on it. There was some corset stuff on the front. Then I put on black fishnets and black high-heeled boots with pictures of Billie Joe Armstrong on them.

**I'm imagining the pictures on the bottom of the shoes, so she's stepping on them.**

I put my hair all out around me so I looked like Samara from the Ring (if u don't know who she iz ur a prep so fuk off!)

**No...**

**YOU ARE A PREP!**

**Ha.**

and I put on blood-red lipstick, black eyeliner and black lip gloss.

**I don't wear lipstick or lip gloss, but can we put the two on at once?**

"You look kawai, girl."

**IF you're going to say it, spell it right.**

B'loody Mary said sadly. "Fangs (geddit) you do too." I said sadly too, but I was still upset.

**Of course.**

I slit both of my wrists feeling totally depressed and I sucked all the blood.

**If vampires had blood of their own, they wouldn't need to drink the blood from others.**

I cried again in my bathroom and put the shades on so Snap and Loopin couldn't spy on me this time. I went to some classes. Vampire was in the Hair of Magical Magic Creatures. He looked all depressed because Draco had disappeared and he had used to be in love with Draco.

**I feel like puking right now.**

He was sucking some blood from a Hufflepuff.

"Hi." he said in a depressed way. "Hi back." I said in an wquallysaid way.

**I wanna say something in a qwually way.**

We both looked at each other for some time. Harry had beautiful red gothic eyes so much like Dracos.

**Eye doctor. Now.**

Then… we jumped on each other and started screwing each other.

**Called it! She is a slut!**

"STOP IT NOW YOU HORNY SIMPLETONS!" shouted Professor McGoggle who was watching us and so was everyone else.

**They are horny sluts!**

"Vampire you fucker!" I said slapping him. "Stop trying to screw me. You know I loved Draco!"

**You're the one who was joining the fun.**

I shouted and then I ran away angrily.

**Hypocrite.**

Just then he started to scream. "OMFG! NOOOOO! MY SCAR HURTS!" and then….. his eyes rolled up! You could only see his red whites.

"NO!" I ran up closer.

"I thought you didn't have a scar anymore!" I shouted.

"I do but Diabolo changed it into a pentagram for me and I always cover it up with foundation." he said back. "Anyway my scar hurt and then I had a vision of what was happening to Draco….Volfemort has him bondage!"

**Didn't we already have that?**

SPECIAL FANGZ 2 RAVEN MY GOFFIX BLOOD SISTA WTF UR SUPPOZD 2 RIT DIS!11111111

***Rolls eyes***

HEY RAVEN DO U KNOW WHERE MY SWEATER I

**You know, I always hated it when people left messages like that to their friends. PM Them or text them.**


	13. Voldemort and Volsemort

**Hey guys, I'm back. I hope Spades' didn't scare any of you away.**

**I did no such thing!**

**Oh, and yeah, she'll be helping still.**

Chapter 13.

AN: raven fangz 4 gelpin me agen im sory ah tok ur postr of gerard

**So Tara confesses to theft.**

**What kind of friend steals another's poster?**

**…You take my stuff all the time.**

**I Take your food and snacks, and sometimes I borrow your shirts, that's a different story. You never complain.**

but dat guy is such a fokin sexbom!

**I want to say he isn't, but I might be attacked by his fans.**

PREPZ STOP FLAMIGNG!

**NEVER**

**Never!**

Vampire and I ran up the stairs looking for Dumbledore. We were so scared.

**Why are they scared?**

**Read the last chapter**

**Oooh, Okay. I don't care that they are scared anymore.**

"Dumbledore Dumblydore!"

**DUMBLYdore?**

**She's been calling him that a lot.**

we both yelled. Dumbledore came there.

"What is it that you want now you despicable snobs?" he asked angrily.

**…Dumbledore is not that mean.**

"Volsemort has Draco!" we shouted at the same time.

**I thought Voldemort had Draco.**

He laughed in an evil voice.

**Evil….voice? She's making Dumbledore…EVIL?**

"No! Don't! We need to save Draco!" we begged.

"No." he said meanly. "I don't give a darn what Voldemort does to Draco. Not after how much he misbehaved in school especially with YOU Ebony."

**Dumbledore would still care. This isn't Dumbledore. She fucked him up even more.**

he said while he frowned looking at me. "Besides I never liked him that much anyway." then he walked away.

**I can see him walking away like a boss.**

**MC, Dumbledore IS boss.**

Vampire started crying. "My Draco!" he moaned. (AN: don't u fik gay guyz r lik so hot!)

**Gay guys are like straight guys, some are hot, and some are not.**

"Its okay!" I tried to tell him but that didn't stop him. He started to cry tears of blood.

**You should probably go see a doctor.**

Then he had a brainstorm. "I had an idea!" he exclaimed.

**"Let's jump off a cliff and die!"**

**If only.**

"What?" I asked him.

"You'll see." he said. He took out his wand and did a spell. Then… suddenly we were in Voldemprt's lair!

**Harry! Wrong place! You're supposed to take us to Voldemort's lair!**

**Sorry!**

We ran in with our wands out just as we heard a croon voice say. "Allah Kedavra!*" It was….. Voldemort!

**Da fuck are you doing in Voldemprt's lair?**

**As a warning, this is about the time that Tara starts being a bitch to her friend and slightly more intelligent Beta Reader Raven, over something very stupid it would seem. Prepare for more stupidity from Tara in the next chapters.**

**Stay tuned to find out what Voldemort is doing in Voldemprt's lair and if the two ever get to Voldemort's lair.**


	14. My Beauty is A Curse

Chapter : fuk off PREPZ ok!

**Never.**

Raven fangz 4 helpin agen. im sory ah kudnt update but I wuz derperessd

**I don't think anyone cared that you couldn't update.**

n I had 2 go 2 da hospital kuz I slit muh rists.

**If only you had hit a vein.**

PS im nut updating til u giv me 10 god revoiws!:

**It's never happening.**

SUM OF DIS CHAPTA IS XTREMLY SCRAY. VIOWER EXCRETION IS ADVISD

**Warning: Some of the content in this chapter are pieces of shit.**

**Viewer Discretion is Advised.**

We ran to where Volcemort was.

**What about Voldemort?**

**And Voldemprt?**

It turned out that Voldemort wasn't there. Instead the fat guy who killed Cedric was.

**Are you going to diss Peter?**

**She's insulting Cedric just by mentioning him in here.**

Draco was there crying tears of blood.

**You can't do that. You should go see a doctor.**

Snaketail was torturing him. Vampire and I ran in front of Snaketail.

**Please let Snaketail kill them.**

"Rid my sight you despicable preps!"

**FINALLY someone calls them out on it.**

he shouted as we started shooting him with the gun

**Muggle tech….their using Muggle tech…in a WIZARD fight. *Facedesks***

he Then suddenly he looked at me and he fell down with a lovey-dovey look in his eyes. "Enobyiloveyou-willyouhavesexwithme?" he said.

**The…fuck? DID SHE JUST DO THAT!?**

(in dis he is sixteen yrs old so hes not a pedofile ok)

**That doesn't make it better…*Still facedesked***

"Huh?" I asked.

"Enoby I love you will you have sex with me?" asked Snaketail. I started laughing crudely.

**Oh God this is making even less sense then before.**

**Mirthful Messiahs, kill me now, this isn't funny.**

"What the fuck? You torture my bf and then you expect me to fuck you? God, you are so fucked up you fucking bastard." I said angrily. Then I stabbed him in the heart. Blood pored out of it like a fountain.

**Biology Trivia- Blood cannot do that from where she stabbed him.**

"Nooooooooooooo!" he screamed. He started screaming and running around.

**He was stabbed in the heart. Instant death.**

Then he fell down and died. I brust into tears sadly.

**The only other reason would be tears of joy. And she's never happy.**

"Snaketail what art thou doing?" called Voldemort. Then… he started coming!

**PFft… Coming..**

**Real mature.**

We could hear his high heels clacking to us.

**Since when did he wear heels?**

**Voldemort...high heels...pfft...now imagining him in a hot pink dress.**

So we got on our broomsticks and we flew to Hogwarts.

**I don't think it's a fifteen minute flight. Besides, Voldemort could catch you easily.**

We went to my room. Vampire went away. There I started crying.

**What a useless crybaby.**

"What's wrong honey?" asked Draco taking off his clothes so we could screw.

**You just got back from being tortured. You should be in the hospital!**

**I give up on making sense of this.**

He had a sex-pack (geddit cuz hes so sexah)

**Hah, hah.**

and a really huge you-know-what and everything.

**We really don't care.**

"Its so unfair!" I yielded.

**There is a joke there I want to make**

**But it isn't worth it?**

**Yeah.**

"Why can't I just be ugly or plain like all da other girls and preps here except for B'loody Mary, because she's not ugly or anything."

**Way to show once again what a total bitch you are.**

"Why would you wanna be ugly? I don't like the preps anyway.

**But in the truth, you are one.**

They are such fucking sluts." answered Draco.

**Wait, so is Ebony.**

"Yeah but everyone is in love with me! Like Snape and Loopin took a video of me naked. Hargrid says he's in love with me. Vampire likes me and now even Snaketail is in love with me!

**Arrogance and idiocy. Everyone this is a true Mary Sue, EVERYONE is in love with her and she even admits that everyone loves her.**

I just wanna be with you ok Draco! Why couldn't Satan have made me less beautiful?"

**Because Satan didn't make people. That was God, or Biological Science, whichever you readers prefer.**

**GLaDOS made man.**

I shouted angrily. (an" don't wory enoby isn't a snob or anyfing but a lot of ppl hav told her shes pretty)

**No, I'm pretty sure she's a snob.**

"Im good at too many things! WHY CAN'T I JUST BE NORMAL? IT'S A FUCKING CURSE!"

**Yes, because being awesome at everything you do, which for the record, Ebony isn't, is a curse.**

**…I wish I was good at a lot of things. I'm just good at being an asshole and flaming these stories.**

**Hey, you're good at a lot of things! You're good at…um….your….**

**….**

**You're a good cook!**

I shouted and then I ran away.

**If only you would have stayed away.**


	15. ANARCHY

**Just as a warning, these few chapters Spades and I did yesterday/earlier today. So I have a few saved on my computer to post.**

**In other words- fast updates.**

Chapter : stup flaming ok! btw u suk

**No…YOU SUCK!**

frum no on evry tim sum1 flams me im gona slit muh ristsz!

**Please, hit a vein.**

fangz 2 raven 4 hlpein!

**Its not going to last, Tara. I've read your story before.**

"Ebony Ebony!" shouted Draco sadly. "No, please, come back!"

**She's running because you called her Ebony when her name is Enoby.**

But I was too mad."Whatever!

**Why is she mad? Draco pretty much said that she shouldn't need to change.**

**She's a bitch, Spades. What do you expect?**

Now u can go anh have sex with Vampire!"

**Honestly? I would rather screw Vampire then Ebony any day. And I hate both of them.**

**OMG are yo-**

**No, I'm not. It was a joke, you rabid fucking fangirl.**

I shouted. I stormed into my room and closed my black door with my blood-red key.

**…You were just in your room. Seriously, does Tara even pay attention to what she's previously written? Next thing you know, she'll be claiming Ebony is a virgin!**

It had a picture of Marylin Manson on it

**She has a key with a picture of him on it?**

**She is the scary type of fangirl.**

. He looked so sexy in a way that reminded me of Draco and Vampire. I started to cry and weep. I took a razor and started to slit my wrists. I drank the blood all depressed.

**YOU**** DON'T ****HAVE ****BLOOD**

**God, that whole thing is really pissing me off.**

**I hear you.**

Then I looked at my black GC watch and noticed it was time to go to Biology class.

**Are you going to be dissected? Please say yes.**

**Don't get the reader's hopes up, Spades.**

I put on a short ripped black gothic dress that said Anarchy

**Wicked **

**Series**

**Refr****ence**

on the front in blood red letters and was all ripped and a spiky belt.

**If someone hugs you, they get stabbed by the belt.**

Under that I put on ripped black fishnets and boots that said Joel all over them with blood red letters.

**Her obsession is getting on the…scary side.**

I put my ebony black hair out. Anyway I went downstairs feeling all sad and depressed as usual.

**Hey guess what?**

**What?**

**No one cares if Ebony is depressed! *Grins***

I did sum advanced Biology work. I was turning a bloody pentagram into a black guitar.

**Literally or a drawing? And what does this have to do with Biology?**

Suddenly the guitar turned to Draco!"Enoby I love you!" he shouted sadly.

**I'm confused.**

"I dnot care what those fucker preps and posers fink. Ur da most beautiful girl in the world.

**News flash Draco, that's the problem, she doesn't WANT to be the most beautiful girl in the world.**

Before I met you I used to want to commit suicide all the time.

**We wish you did.**

Now I just wanna fucking be with you. I fucking love you!." Then…. he started to sing "Da Chronicles of Life and Death" (we considered it our song now cuz we fell in love when Joel was singing it)

**And that was never mentioned until now.**

right in front of the entire class!

**Can a teacher turn him into a rat, and step on him?**

His singing voice was so amazing and gothic

**How does someone's voice sound 'gothic'?**

and sexxy like a cross between Gerard, Joel, Chester, Pierre and Marilyn Manson

**That sounds like…**

**Shit? *Wince***

**Yeah.**

(AN: don't u fink dos guyz r so hot. if u dnot no who dey r get da fuk out od hr!)

**I'm sure no one gives a fuck about what you say, Tara.**

."OMFG." I said after he was finished. Some fucking preps stared at us but I just stuck up my middle fingers (that were covered in black nail polish and were entwined with Draco's now) at them.

**Yeah, just watch, those 'preps' are going to get their vengeance.**

"I love you!" I said and then we started to kiss just like Hilary Duff (i fukin h8 dat bitch)

**And yet you claim they are kissing like her…**

and CMM in a Cinderella Story.

**And you know of a scene from a 'prep' movie. Could it be?**

**…**

**….**

**FAKER~**

**POSER~**

**Ebony is nothing but a faker**

**She claims all preps are haters**

***Both get shot for ****horrible song attempt***

Then we went away holding hands. Loopin shouted at us but he stopped cuz everyone was clapping by how sexy we looked 2gether.

**I don't think that's how it works in real life.**

Then I saw a poster saying that MCR would have a concert in Hogsmede right then.

**Why would they be having a concert in Hogsmede?**

We looked at each other all shocked and then we went 2gether.

***Gag* ugh….I think I'm going to be sick**

**The Wicked Series Reference was made because there was a character in the book Wicked Business named Anarchy, she was a bat shit crazy both mentally and powerfully woman who wanted every human to lust for her.**

**She also liked to set things on fire, her house, Lizzy (Main characters) Car, Diesel's (Main character) car, attempt at Lizzy's house, and a sort of magic shop who's name I can't remember.**


	16. Draco is now Christina

Chapter : u no wut! sut up ok!

**Oh, so that's the chapter's name? Okay**

proov 2 me ur nut prepz!

**Prove to me you're not some troll or faker.**

raven u suk u fuken bich gimme bak mah fukijn swteet

**Ah is this revenge for you stealing her poster?**

ur supsd 2 rit dis!

**No, you idiot, you're supposed to write this. Raven is your beta, her job is to check for spelling and grammar and to make sure the story isn't shit.**

Raven wtf u bich ur suposd to dodis!

**Wait, was Raven writing the previous chapters?**

**The spelling is…a lot worse…Oh god.**

BTW fangz 2 britney5655 4 techin muh japnese!

**You should learn English, before learning Japanese.**

"Wtf Draco im not going to a concert wid u!" I shouted angrily.

**Did we miss something last chapter? She said they were going together.**

"Not after what happened to me last time? Even if its MCR n u no how much I lik them"

**We are fully aware of your obsession with them.**

"What cause we…you know…" he gadgetted uncomfortbli cause guys don't like to talk a bout you-know-what.

**Really? Most of the guys I know of love talking about how many times they get laid.**

**What about you?**

**Huh, um…well I'm not going talk about it on here, in front of strangers!**

**Hypocri-**

**Silence!**

"Yeah cause we you know!" I yielded in an angry voice.

**I don't know what 'you know' is.**

"We won't do that again." Draco promised. "This time, we're going with an ESCORT."

**Oh, so they're going to have a threesome?**

**What?! What are you talking about!**

**Oh, my innocent, ignorant friend~ I have much to teach you, TO WIKIPEDIA! *Grabs MC and runs***

"OMFG wtf/ Are you giving into the mainstream?"

**Because having a chaperone is mainstream?**

I asked. "So I guess ur a prep or a Christina or what now?"

**I don't think he turned into a Christina, does he have breasts now and a vagina instead of a penis?**

"NO." he muttered loudly.

**You- no. To easy.**

"R u becoming a prep or what?" I shootd angrily.

**Yeah Draco, are you?**

"Enoby! I'm not! Pls come with me!"

**Spades.**

**Yeah?**

**The spelling and story telling…it's worse now.**

**…I miss Raven.**

He fell down to his knees and started singing 'Da world is black' by GC to me.I was flattened cause that's not even a single, he had memorized da lyrks just 4 me!

**Hey, I memorize the lyrics of lots of songs, whether or not their singles doesn't matter.**

"OK then I guess I will have to." I said and then we frenched 4 a while and I went up 2 my room.

**Can I kill her?**

**Not yet.**

B'loody Mary was standing there. "Hajimemashite gurl." she said happily (she spex Japanese so do i. dat menz 'how do u do' in japanese).

**Hajimemashite, MC-San, kore wa waruidesu.**

**I know.**

"BTW Willow that fucking poser got expuld. she failed al her klasses and she skepped math."

**Aw, and I liked her, you hardly ever saw her.**

(an: RAVEN U FUKIN SUK! FUK U!)

**Sheesh, I take MC's sweaters all the time and we don't act like this.**

**Honestly…we've had some pretty bad fights over lots of things that actually were important…and we never acted this childish.**

**If we ever become this, kill me.**

"It serves that fuking bich right."

**And why is Ebony hating Willow?**

**Cuz Ebony is Tara, Willow is Raven.**

I laughed anyway we where felling all deprezzed.

**You're depressed because Raven is gone and this story is even shittier.**

We wutsched some goffic movies like Das niteMARE b4 xmas.

**That movie was cute.**

"Maybe Willow will die too." I said."Kawai."

**Spell it right if you're going to use it!**

B'loody Mair shook her head enrgtically lethrigcly.

**Energetically and lethargically are contradictions.**

"Oh yeah o have a confession after she got expuld I murdered her and den loopin did it with her cause he's a necphilak."

**…I actually feel bad for her.**

**Yeah, poor Raven, stuck with a bitch for a best friend.**

"Kawai." I commnted happily .

***Eye twitch* How is that CUTE?**

**These people are fucked up.**

We talked to each other in silence

**I'm…I'm not even going to say it. To easy.**

for da rest uv da movie."OH HEY BTw, im going to a concert with drako tonight in Hogsmeade with mcr." I sed.

**Who cares?**

" I need to wear like da hotset outfit EVA."B'Loody Mairy Nodded ENREGeticALLlY. "Omfg totally lets go shopping.""In Hot Topic, right?"

**Really? Hot Topic isn't really that 'gothic'. No offense Hot Topic fans.**

I asked, already getting out my spshcial Hot Topic Loiyalty carde."No." My head snaped up.'WHAT?" my head spuin. I could not believe it.

**Is she finally going to kill her?**

"B'Loody Mary are u a PREP?"

"NOOOO!NOOOO!" She laughed.

**Damn it.**

"I found some cool goffic stores near Hogwarts that's all.

**Why would there be stores near Hogwarts?**

**It's My Immortal. Different Hogwarts. We're in England, remember?**

""Hu told u abut them" I askd sure it would be Drako or Diabolo or Vampire(don't even SAY that nam to me!). Or me."Dumblydore." She sed. "Let me just call our broms.""OMFFG DUMBLYDORE?" I asked quietly.

**Fuck is he 'Goffik' to now?**

"Yah I saw the map for Hogsmeade on his desk."

**Should I ask why she was in his office?**

**Since this is My Immortal, she was probably having sex with him.**

**…Yeah I wouldn't put it past Tara to have that.**

She told me. "Come on let's go."We were going in a few punkgoff stores SPECIALLY for the concerts in Hogsmeade.

**They don't make stores specifically for a concert, I don't think so at least. They have stands and small shops AT the concert for that merchandise.**

The salesperson was OMG HOTTER THAN GERARD EXCEPT NOT CAUSE THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE and he gave me a few dresses. "We only have these for da real goffs."

**Segregating due to 'goth' and 'prep' Way to get business. Loser.**

"Da real goffs?" Me and B'Loody Mary asked."Yah u wouldn't believe how many posers ther are in this town man! Yesterday loopin and snap tried to buy a goffic camera pouch."

**Hey, guess what! You three are posers too!**

He shook his head. "I dint even no they had a camera.""OMFG NO THEIR GONNA SPY ON ME AGAIN!"

**Way to jump to conclusions, bitch. Maybe they just wanted a camera pouch for their camera? Not everything revolves around you.**

I cried, running out of the changing room wearing a long black dress with lots of red tulle coming out and very low-cut with a huge slit."Oh my satan you have to buy that outfit" The salesperson said.

**It's a salesperson, they'd try to get you to buy everything in a store.**

"Yeah it looks totlly hot." said B'Loody Mary."You know what I am gona give it to you free cause u look really hot in that utfit.

**Welp, he's fired.**

Hey are you gonna be at the concert tonight?" he asked.

**NOT ANOTHER LOVE INTEREST!**

"Yeah I am actually." I looked back at him. "Hey BTW my name's ebondy dark'ness dementia TARA

**Ah-ha! TARA! WE KNEW YOU WERE A SELF INSERT! You even did it in capitalization!**

way what's yours?""Tom Rid."

**Tom…Rid…**

**Tom…Rid….**

**TOM RID?!**

**SHE HAS TOM RIDDLE IN HERE!? DOES SHE EVEN KNOW THAT HE IS LORD VOLDEMORT?!**

**NO SHE DOES NOT!**

**SHE IS A BIG IDIOT WHO DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HARRY POTTER IS ABOUT! SHE JUST READ ABOUT A FEW CHARACTERS AND FILLED IN THE BLANK WITH HER OWN DELUSIONAL STUPIDITY!**

**GRAAAAAGRGFFFRAAWR!**

***Rabid Rage Mode Active***

**Shooosh, shhhhhhhhhhooosh! Shoosh! *Paps MC***

He said and ran a hand through his black-dyed hair. "maybe I'll see you there tonight.""Yeah I don't think so cause I am going there with my bf drako you sick perv!"

**He didn't know you had a boyfriend, you act like a slut, and he probably didn't want anything with you in the first place. Maybe he was just letting you know since you are apparently in a store specifically for the concert. *Continues to calm MC down***

I yelled angrily, but before he could beg me to go with him, Hargrid flew in on his black broom looking worried. "OMFG EBONDY U NEED OT GET BACK INTO THE CASTLE NOW!"

**Oh, maybe Draco is dead, for realz!**

**Grrrw…grwa?**

**Its okay, MC, it's going to be all right. *paps him***


	17. TOM RIDDLE

Chapter : I sed stup flming da stryo!

***Skims through chapter on a Word Document* Oh…My…God….so much fucking red….**

if ur a prep den dnot red it!

**I'm pretty sure the REAL Goths are flaming this too.**

u kin tel weder ur a prep or not by ma quiz itz on ma hompage.

**I want to take that quiz.**

**I honestly don't trust anything she makes. It's probably 'do you like satan' Goth, 'Do you like MCR, GC, or whatever bands she likes?' Goth, 'Do you like *lists more stereotypical shit she thinks is Goth* Goth.**

if ur not den u rok. if u r den FOOOOOK UFFFFFFFFFF!

**You first~**

pz willo isn't rely a prep.

**Then why scream at her?**

Raven plz do dis il promis 2 giv u bak ur postr!

**…I honestly wouldn't come back if MC acted like Tara.**

** If she has her poster that means she's in the same town. Then why the fuck is she writing it on here?**

**Because Tara is the world's biggest idiot?**

Tom Riddle gave us some clothes n stuff 4 free.

**Tom…Riddle.**

**TOM….RIDDLE….**

**YO-**

***Grabs MC and start's papping him* Calm, my friend, calm. It isn't worth it.**

**She doesn't even know Tom is Voldemort!**

He said he wud help us wif makeup if he wunted koz he was relly in2 fashin n stuff. (hes bisezual).

**Stereo-fucking-type.**

Hargird kept shooting at us to cum

**Pffft…Oh God….**

**…You…are a sick person, Spades.**

**Come on, it's funny! Hahaha**

back 2 Hogwarts.

"WTF Hargrid?" I shouted angrily. "Fuck off you fjucking bastard."

**But! Ebony! You're room is on fire! You need to return!**

Well anyway Willow came. Hargird went away angrily."Hey bitch you look kawaii."

**….Isn't she dead? And corpse-raped by Lupin or in here, Loopin?**

**It's My Immortal.**

she said."Yah but not as kawaii as you." I answered sadly cause Willow's really pretty and everything.

**Make. Up. You're. Fucking. Mind. Do you love her or hate her.**

**I got a theory! I got a theory! Has anyone watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer? You guys know about Willow and Tara? Well, think of it here, Willow is a Raven Self Insert so Raven is Willow, and fill in the rest.**

She was wearing a short black corset-thingy

**You don't even know what you're trying to describe, do you?**

with blood red lace on it and a blak blood-red miniskirt, leather fish-nets and black poiny boots that showed off how pale she wuz. She had a really nice body wif big bobs and everything.

**Does anyone care? No. Had this been written better would anyone care? Maybe.**

She was thin enouff 2 be anorexic.

**Yeah, I don't get why girls think they have to be so fucking skinny. It creeps me out. They need to start getting some muscles on those bones.**

"So r u going 2 da concert wif Draco?" she asked."Yah."

**No, she's going with Death. Because he will kill her and all will be done.**

I said happily."I'm gong with Diabolo." she anserred happily.

**Who's Diabolo? I forgot**

**I think Ron.**

Well anyway Draco and Diabolo came. They were both loking extremely hot and sexy and u could tell they thoufht we were ot 2.

**Why, they got erections?**

**Probably.**

Diabolo was wearing a black t-shirt that said '666' on it.

**Cuz it's cool to have 666 on shirts and it means you're Gothic which is the same as being a Satanist in here.**

He was wearing tons off makeup jus like Marylin Manson.

**I like his song This is Halloween, and Sweet Dreams, but that's about it.**

Draco was wearing black leather pants, a gothic black GC t-shirt and black Vans he got from da Warped tower. B'loody Mart

**Is B'Loody Mart the 'Gothic' version of Kmart or Walmart? **

was going 2 da concert wif Dracola. Dracola used to be called Navel

**I don't remember anyone named Navel in the books. Do you?**

**Nope.**

but it tuned out dat he was kidnapped at birth and his real family were vampires.

**Is she seriously using that again?**

They dyed in a car crash. Navel converted to Satanism and he went goth. He was in Slitherin now. He was wearing a black Wurped t-shirt, black jeans and shoes and black hair wif red streekz in it. We kall him Dracula now. Well anyway we al went 2 Draco's black Mercy-Bens (geddit cuz wer gpffik)

**Don't get it.**

**The Malfoy's hate Muggle technology. He wouldn't have a car.**

**Already covered that in the first few chapters.**

that his dad Lucian gave him.

**Lucius would burn the car before giving it to Draco.**

We did pot, coke and crak.

**Because doing drugs is COOL!**

**…..I think I'm losing respect for this fanfiction. Wait…I needed to have respect for it in the first place.**

Draco and I made out. We made fun of dose stupid fuking preps. We soon got there….I was da sexiest guy eva!

**You're a guy now? *Wince* When did that happen?**

He locked even sexier den he did in pix. He had long raven blak hair n piercing blue eyes. He wuz really skinny and he had n amazing ethnic voice.

**Ethnic voice? The fuck?**

We moshed 2 Helena and sum odder songz. Sudenly Gerard polled of his mask. So did the other membez. I gasped. It wasn't Gerard at all!

**Surprise? Nope.**

It was an ugly preppy man wif no nose and red eyes...

**Since when was Voldemort 'Preppy'?**

Every1 ran away but me and Draco. Draco and I came. It was….Vlodemort and da Death Deelers!"U moronic idiots!" he shooted angstily.

**Just KILL her already! Why do you even need her?! SHE'S TO STUPID TO DO ANYTHING!**

"Enoby, I told u to kill Vampire. Thou have failed. And now….I shall kill thou and Draco!""No no please!" We begged sadly but he took out his a gothic old man flu

**Gothic Old Man Flu? Never heard of that type of flu.**

in on his broomstick. He had lung black hair and a looong black bread. He wus werring a blak robe dat sed 'avril lavigne' on da back. He shotted a spel and Vlodemort ran away.

**OH come on! Be a man Voldemort! You could kill him with ease!**

It was…DUMBLYDORE!

**BOOOOOO!**


	18. It's Albert not Dumbledore

**Attention true believers!**

**Please don't quote RVB, and PLEASE don't quote Church, I don't need any more favorite characters ruined.**

**Ahem. Attention readers, we are nearing the halfway point in the story. Four more chapters to go and we're halfway through.**

**Also, we have decided to make a picture for each story we review representing us destroying the stories we review. We already have made the one for this, I drew us (MC and I) burning Ebony with a flame thrower.**

**It's crap.**

**Check it out.**

**That's a…bad way to advertise…**

**Silence! Let's start!**

Chapter : I SED STUP FLAMMING!

**Never!**

if u do den ur a fuken prep!

**We found the quiz that says if we're a prep in her opinion or not. Apparently we are preps, because we don't slit our wrists, don't wear foundation (The only options was Yes, Yes to cover acne, No to pale) Don't shop at Hot Topic (Our city doesn't even HAVE a Hot Topic.) and only have 3 names, a first, middle and last. **

**Actually…I got Goffik.**

**And because of that, we are no longer friends.**

fangz 2 raven 4 da help n stuf. u rok! n ur nut a prep.

**Does this girl love being verbally abused by an idiot? Raven why did you go back to this shit place?**

**Because she's just as much of an idiot. Obviously the spelling didn't get any better.**

fangz for muh sewter! ps da oder eson dumbeldor swor is koz he trin 2 be gofik so der!

**So you have to swear a lot to be 'Goffik'?**

**MC…you swear a lot...are you Goffik?**

**FUCK NO**

I woke up the next day in my coffin.

**As opposed to a bed like A NORMAL PERSON.**

I walked out of it and put on some black eyeliner, black eyesharrow, blood-bed lipstick and a black really low-cut leather dress that was all ripped and in stripes so you could see my belly.

**Does she EVER wear the fucking uniform?**

I was wearing a skull belly ring with black and red diamonds inside it.(Da night before Draco and I rent back to the skull (geddit skull koz im goffik n I like deth).

**I….your puns are lame.**

Dumbeldore chased Vlodemort away. We flew there on our brooms. Mine was black and the broom-stuff was blood-red.

**She doesn't even know what she's trying to describe.**

There was lace all over it. Draco had a black MCR boom. We went back to our rooms and we had you-know-what to a Linkin Park song.)

**Oh God…this is just horrible.**

**Can't she just say 'They had sex' or at least try to make a proper sex scene?**

**DON'T give her any ideas. I don't want to be any more mentally scarred then I already am thanks to this.**

Well anyway I went down to the Grate Hall.

**That must hurt. Why would anyone make a grate hall?**

There all da walls were painted black and da tables were black too. But you fould see that there was pink pant underneath the black pant.

**How? Black covers up other colors pretty well.**

And there were pastors of poser bands everywhere, like Ashlee Simpson and the Backstreet Boys.

**How are the Backstreet Boys posers?! Neither of those music artists are even attempting at being Gothic, you bitch.**

**Not to mention they wouldn't have existed yet.**

"WTF!" I shouted going to sit next to B'loody Mary and Willow.

B'loody Mary was wearing a black leather mini with a Good Chraloote t-shirt, black fishnets and black pointy boots. Willow was wearing a long gothic blak dress with blood red writing that was all lacy and came up to your thighs and black boots and fishnets. Vampire, Dracula and Draco came. We started to talk about who was sexier, Mikey or Gerard Way or Billie Joe Armstrong.

**No one wears the school uniform here.**

The boys joined in cause they were bi."Those guys are so fucking hot."

**I'm not homophobic but I'm certain none of those guys are bi.**

Navel was saying as suddenly a gothic old man with a black beard and everything came. He was the same one who had chassed away Vlodemort yesterday. He had normal tan skin but he was wearing white foundation and he had died his hare

**Who in their right mind you kill a rabbit?! I'm assuming this rabbit was a pet.**

black."….DUMBLEDORE?1!" we all gasped."WTF?" I shouted angrily. "I thought he was just wearing that to scare Volsemort!"

**Nope, Tara has decided to ruin Dumbledore too. The only character in Harry Potter who really is gay. **

**Don't insult Dumbledore!**

**That wasn't an insult! J.K Rowling stated that Dumbledore was gay. Yet I'm sure that Tara is going to make him heterosexual.**

"Hello everyone." he said happily. "As u can see I gave the room a makeover. Whjat do u fink about it?"

**It sucks, you should all die now.**

Everyone from the poser table in Gryiffindoor started to cheer.

**Gryffindor is not a poser group! She obviously knows nothing about each house.**

Well we goths just looked at each other all disfusted and shook our heads. We couldn't believe what a poser he was!1."BTW you can call me Albert."

**Fucking**

**No**

HE CALLED AS WE LEFT to our classes."What a fucking poser!" Draco shouted angrily as we we to Transfomation.

**Someone get Unicron here here and kill them all.**

We were holding hands. Vampire looked really jealous. I could see him crying blood in a gothic way

**Oh God, she has him in love with her too. **

**Or maybe he's just wanting to save Draco.**

(geddit, way lik Gerard)

**Lame**

**Pun**

**Is**

**Lame**

but I didn't say anything. "I bet he's havin a mid-life crisis!" Willow shouted.I was so fucking angry.

**You're angry? You're nowhere close to how pissed I am at this whole story!**


	19. Enoby is a HORRIBLE girlfriend

**We did 31 chapters, so we got twelve left to upload before we're making new ones.**

* * *

Chapter 19.

**Nineteen already?**

im nut ok

**Obviously, if you were OK, you wouldn't have written this.**

i promiseAN: plz stup flaming da story

**Why? Finally getting to you?**

if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ok!11

**Why would anyone be jealous of this story?**

**She's obviously insane.**

frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!111

**Wow, you're going to have to delete a lot.**

BTW evonyd a poorblod so der!

**A poorblood? Does she mean the child of a muggle? WHY IS DRACO DATING HER?!**

**Because this is a piece of shit.**

1 fangz 2 raven 4m da help!

**As much as I like how the spelling is a little better with Raven. I still hate her for even helping to make this monstrosity. **

All day we sat angerly finking about Dumbelldore.

**Same, how dare he be ruined.**

We were so fucking pissed off. Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert. It had been postphoned, so we could all ,

**All what?**

**All die.**

I went to the common room sadly to cut classes.

**And she isn't expelled because…?**

**This is My fucking Immortal.**

Draco was being all secretive.I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty

**That…isn't…Draco…**

**Calm down! No rage mode today!**

(rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot).

**I guess if you like that kind of thing. It's all about prefrences.**

"No one fucking understands me!1" he shouted angrily as his black hare went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz.

**Do you have to relate everything to music artists?!**

He was wearing black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die.

**Black Die? ...to fucking easy.**

(geddit insted of tie koz im goffik)

**Another shitty pun.**

I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under.

**She is destroying artists I like. Can I kill her?**

**If you can find her, go ahead.**

(email me if u wana see da pik)"Accuse me? What about me!" I growled.

**Selfish bitch who shouldn't even have a boyfriend in 3….2…1**

"Buy-but-but-" he grunted.

"You fucking bastard!" I moaned.

**Why is she so angry? He just said that no one understood him and is obviously upset about something!**

**She is angry because he's focusing on something other than her, she is the type of girl who has to have the whole world rotate around her.**

"No! Wait! It's not what it fucking looks like!" he it was to late. I knew what I herd.

**You obviously don't know what you heard. He's upset and you're being selfish bitch.**

I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Draco banged on the door. I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video!).

**Oh God, I just want to cry, this is so horrible.**

I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke Hargrid came. He had appearated.

**Underage smoking too.**

"You gave me a fucking shock!" I shouted angrily dropping my pot.

**Oh, now it's Pot? Does she think Cigarettes and drugs are the same thing?**

"Wtf do you fink you're doing in da gurl's room?"

**Please say to kill her.**

Only it wasn't just Hargrid. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Tom Rid or maybe Draco but it was Dumblydore."Hey I need to ask you a question." he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse.

**Grrr…..**

"What are u wearing to the concert?""U no who MCR r!" I gasped."No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2." He said.

**Shut. UP.**

"Anyway Draco has a surprise for u."

**He is still in love with her?! After what a bitch she is?**

**He's a masochist.**

**Don't call him that. Tara probably doesn't know what it means.**


	20. Snape and Lupin are still here

Chapter : I sed I dnoty ker wut u fink!

**Obviously you do if you won't shot up about it.**

stof pflamin ok prepz!

**Not helping your 'I don't care what you think' case. If you didn't care you wouldn't demand no flames.**

1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1 oh yah btw ill be un vacation in transilvania

**Maybe Dracula will kill her.**

4 da nex 3 dayz so dnot expect updatez

**YAY!**

All day I wondered what the surprise was.

**It's your DEATH.**

***Thunder***

**Mwahahaha!**

Meanwhile, I pot on a blak ledder mini, a blak corset with urple lace stuff all over it, an black gothic compact boots.

**Oh God, does she ever shut up about clothes?!**

MCR were gong 2 do the concert again, since Volxemort

**Volxemort? Seriously?**

had taken over the last one. I slit my wrists while I moshed 2 MCR in my bedroom all night, feeling excited.

***Looks up Moshed* Don't you need other dancers?**

Suddenly someone knocked on the door while I was trying on sum black clothes and moshing to Fang u 4 da Venom.

**Oh God, she's ruining one of the MCR songs I actually like.**

I gut all mad and turned it of, but sacredly I hopped inside dat it was Draco so we could do it again.

**Do you hear that?**

**Could it be?**

**Sl****ut!**

"Wut de fucking hell r u doing!" I shouted angrily. It was Loopin!

**KILL HER!**

"R u gonna cum rape me or what."

**She sounds eager. That's not sarcasm.**

I yelled. I was allowed to say dat because Dumblydore had told us all 2 be careful around hem and Snap since he was a pedo.

**Didn't they get sent away, after being killed with a killing curse?**

**I think there is a difference between Pedophile and Rapist, a big difference.**

"No, actshelly (geddit, hell) kan I plz burrow sum condemns." he growld angrily.

**My first instinct is to ask why she would have condoms. But then I remember it's Ebony and that she's a slut so yeah. She would have condoms.**

"Yah, so u can fuk ur six-yr-old gurlfriend, huh?

**I know this is a late comment. But I hate how she is completely ignoring that he's married to Tonks. Who for any Tara Wannabes, is not a minor.**

I shouted sarkastikally."Fuker." He said, gong anyway,

**Bitch. To both Tara and Ebony, I like Lupin.**

I put on some black eyesharow, black eyeliner, and some black lipstick and white foundation. Then I went. Den I gasped….

**Putting periods does not make it full of suspense!**

Snake and Loopin were in da middle of da empty hall, doin it, and Dobby was watching!1

**OH Mirthful Messiahs! Dobby is going to need to join the Tree for therapy!**

**Both Snape and Lupin have been shown to love woman. Snape was in love with Harry's mom, Lupin is MARRIED for the love of God.**

"Oh my god you ludacris idiot!" they both shooted angrily when they saw me. Dobby ran away crying.

**Come here Dobby, I'll protect you. I also got a bottle of Brain Bleach to make you forget what you just saw.**

Dey got up, though. Normally I wood have ben turned on (I luv cing guyz do it)

**You. Are. A. Sick. Fuck. And. A. Fucking. Pervert.**

**Oh my God this is getting worse.**

but both of them were fuking preps. (btw snake is movd 2 griffindoor now)

***Eye Twitch* Snapes….part…of….Gryffindor…**

**Snape is a part of GRYFFINDOR?**

**WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!**

***Rage mode Active***

**MY GOD WOMAN HAVE YOU NO KNOWLEDGE OF HARRY POTTER? HOW CAN YOU JUST CLAIM THIS AND THAT WHEN EVERY SINGLE WORD YOU'VE TYPED HAS BEEN WRONG! I SHOULD HUNT YOU DOWN AND THROW YOU OFF A CLIFF FOR WHAT YOU'VE WRITTEN YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF GARBAGE!**

**…I'm going to go hide….**

"WTF is that why u wanted condoms?" I asked sadistically.

**DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT SADISTICALLY MEANS?! **

**Apparently not?**

(c I speld dat)

**No. One. Fucking. Cares. Anymore.**

"Only you wouldn't give them to me!" Lumpkin shouted angrily."Well you shoulda told me." I replayed.

**You would have ended up asking to watch them you fucking slut whore bitch you!**

**I….I'm going to continue hiding since she might end up throwing stuff.**

"You dimwit!." Snake began 2 shoot angrily. And then…I took out my black camera and took a pic of them.

**Sicko.**

U could see that they were naked and everything."Well xcuse me!" they both shouted angrily. "What was dat al about?"

**Yeah, you going to fap to it?**

"It wuz to blackmail u." I snarked. "So now next time you see me doing it with my boyfriend you cant fuking rat me out or I'll show dis to Dumbledork. So fuck off, u bastards!"

**I hate to say it but Dumbledore might not care. Everyone knows how often you do it with your boyfriend who you treat like shit.**

I started to run. They chased me but I threw my wound at them and dey tripped over it.

**The. Fuck?**

Well anyway, I went outside and there was Vampire, looking extremely fucking hot.

**What's this I hear?**

**Infidelity?**

"WTF where'd Draco?" I asked him."Oh he's bein a fucking bastard. He told me he wouldn't cum." Vampire said shaking his hed.

**I want to make a sex joke right now, but Tara has done that enough just by writing this story.**

"U wanna cum with me?

**Pffft…..hehehehe….**

2 the concert?"Then….. he showed me his flying car. I gasped. It was a black car. He said his dogfather Serious Blak

**Dog Father…hehehe that is actually funny.**

**Would be better if she spelt his name right.**

had given it 2 him. The license plate on the front sed MCR666 on it.

**I'm getting tired of her insulting the band.**

The one on da back said 'ENOBY'

**….Creepy?**

**Very.**

**At least he spelt her name right.**

on it.….I flew to the concert hall. MCR were there, and I began 2 make out,

**With who? Harry? Some random guy?**

**Does it matter? She's cheating on Draco.**

moshing to the muzik. I gapsed, looking at da band.I almost had an orgasim.

**Ew.**

Gerard was so fucking hot! He begin 2 sing 'Helena' and his sexah beautiful voice began 2 fill the hall

**..I'm starting to hate MCR.**

. ….And den, I heard some crrying. I turned and saw Draco, cryin in a corner.

**Well DUH, you're making out with some guy, going to a concert with someone else, and pretty much cheating on Draco, MC would cry too if he was your boyfriend.**

**I wouldn't cry…WHAT?! WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE BOYFRIEND?!**

**You're a guy.**

**I wouldn't cry, I'd fucking throw her off a cliff and run.**


	21. Harry has Breasts?

**Ten chapters left till 31**

* * *

Chapter : fuk u ok! u fokng suk.

**I will only take you seriously if you learn to spell fuck.**

itz nut ma fult if itz speld rong ok koz dat bich ravern cuz it fok u prepz!

**Are you fighting with Raven again? You can't blame her, it's your job to spell it correctly.**

1 woopz soz raven fangz 4 da help. btw transilvana rox hrad!

**…I wish they had arrested you in there.**

1 I even gut 2 go 2 da kasel wer drkola was flimed!

**…..I think this is the one moment in my life where I'm actually jealous of her. IF she's telling the truth.**

**I want to go to the Count's castle…**

Later we all went in the skull. Draco was crying in da common room.

**It makes me sick to see that she made him a cry baby. He cries in nearly ever chapter. Tell me readers, has Draco ever cried in the books or movies?**

"Draco are u okay?" I asked in a gothic voice."No I'm not u fuking bitch!" he shouted angrily.

**Yes! He's yelling at her and insulting her! Maybe he'll dump her for good!**

**You know he won't.**

He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide.

**And in five seconds you won't care at all.**

"Its ok Enoby." said Vampire comfortly.

**It's amusing he's the only one to spell her name right.**

"Ill make him feel better.""U mean you'll go fuck him wont you!" I shouted angrily.

**Since when did comfort him and screw him mean the same thing?**

Then I ran 2 get Draco. Vampire came too."Draco please come!" he began to cry.

**Spades, DON'T even-**

**Pffft…come….heh**

Tears of blood came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz.

**Obviously, since you have to mention it in every chapter. Draco isn't sensitive by the way.**

(if ur a homophone den fuk of!)

**MC, are you a homophone? **

**No, I'd be concerned if actual homophones were reading this. Because that would just be a little scary.**

**What do homophones have to do with bisexuality?**

**Nothing.**

And then….. we herd sum footsteps! Vampire got out his blak invincibility coke.

**So, you just keep it on you 24/7, just in case you need it?**

We both gut under it. We saw the janitor Mr. Norris there, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.

**Um, isn't Mr. Norris the cat?**

"WHOSE THERE!" he shouted angrily.

**How the hell is a cat shouting at them.**

We saw Filth come. He went unda da invisibility cloke and started to meow loudly.

**That's kind of a funny image.**

**Obviously Tara doesn't know that Filch is the caretaker and Mr. Norris is the cat.**

"IS ANY1 THERE!" yelled Mr. Norris."No fuck u you preppy little poser sun of a fukcing bich!" Vampire said under his breast in a disgusted way.

**…Since when did Harry have breasts?**

**He should probably get that looked at.**

"EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!" yelled Mr. Norris. Den he heard Filch meow.

"Filth is der any1 unda da cloak!" he asked.

**Obviously the Cloak doesn't work if he can see it.**

Filth nodded. And then….Vampir frenched me! He did it jus as….. Mr. Norris was taking of da cloak!1

**Boo, this sucks even more then before.**

"WHAT DA-" he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him.

**I would run from him to, Filch kind of creeped me out.**

And den we saw Draco crying n bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da school.

**Hogwarts- School of Suicide.**

"Draco!" I cried. "R u okay?""I guess though." Draco weeped.

**Draco, she just made out with your ex. DUMP HER ALREADY.**

We went back to our coffins frenching each other.

**Since when did Draco have a coffin?**

Draco and I decided to watch Lake Placid (c isnt da deprezzin)

**I'm sorry, how is Lake Placid depressing? It's a Horror Comedy! You can't call a comedy a depressing movie! Have you even SEEN Lake Placid?**

on the gothic red bed together. As I wuz about 2 put in the video, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now.

**Oh, you're psychic now?**

**Class A Mary Sue.**

There was a knok on the door and Fug and da Mystery of Magic walked into the school!1

**It's the Minister of Magic.**


	22. Daisy Daisy give me Your Answer Do

**Looking back on this, damn Spades you snickered at a lot of the typos in here.**

**Can you blame me? She made spelling errors that turned into words that had to do with sex. It was funny. so I snickered.**

**Yeah...you still laugh at those typos so why am I saying it like you've stopped?**

**You were kind of prudish whenever I snickered at it.**

**SILENCE**

* * *

Chapter : stfu! prepz stup flaming ok if u dnot lik it fuk of

**All this poor spelling is making my head hurt trying to decipher it.**

I no itz mr. noris itz raven's folt ok!11 u suk!1

**What a shitty best friend.**

no jus kidding raven u fokieng rok prepz suk!1

**Psst, don't listen to her Raven.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**Yeah, I see what you did there.**

All day everyone talked about the Misery of Magic.

**Ministry! MINISTRY!**

Well anyway, I woke up the next day. I was in my coffin so I opened the door. I was wearing blak lacey leather pajamas.

**Why would they make pajamas like that?**

Then I in front of me where….

B;loody Mary, Vampire, Diabolo, Draco, Dracula and Willow!I opened my crimson eyes.

**You just knew they were standing there before you opened your eyes? I can't even recognize my mom some times when I just wake up.**

Willow was wearing a tight black leather top with pictures of bloody roses all over it. Under that she wart a black poofy skirt wit lace on it and black gothic boots that was attached to the top. Vampire was wearing a baggy Simple Plan t-shirt and baggy black pants and Vans. Draco was wearing a black MCR t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather jacket. He looked just likee Gerard Way, and almost as fucking sexy. Vampire looked like Joel Madden. B'loody Mary was wearing a tight black poofy gothic dress that she had ripped so it showed of all her clearage with a white apron that said 'bich'

**Why is she wearing an apron?**

and other swear words and MCR lyrics on it kind of like one dress I had seen Amy Lee wear once.

***Curls up in a ball* to much clothing description!**

Darkness (who is Jenny)

**Who da fuck is Jenny?**

**You mean Ginny or whatever Rons sisters name is?**

was there too. She was weaving a ripped gothic black dress with ripped stuff all over it and a lace-up top thing and black pointy boots. So were Crab and Goyle. It turns out that Darkness, Diabolo, Crab and Goyle's dad was a vampire.

**Unhealthy obsession with vampires.**

He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor.

**So, a vampire can die by slitting a wrist yet Tara continues to say no.**

**CONTRADICTONS**

He had raped them and stuff before too. They all got so depressed that they became goffik and converted to Stanism.

**Yes because that is the best way to handle depression.**

"OMFG" I yielded as I jumped up. "Why the fuck are u all here?"

***Erie voice* To kill you. Bitch.**

"Enoby something is really fucked up." Draco said.

**And that something is this fanfic and you, Enoby.**

"OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first." I shouted angrily.

**What, you suddenly naked?**

"It's all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful." Draco said in a sexy voice.

**God, quit it with the Japanese words!**

"Oh all right." I said smiling. "But you have to tell me why your being all erective."

**Hehehe**

**SPADES**

"I will I will." he I just put on some black eyeliner, black lipstick and red eyeshadow and white foundation.

**You are already pale. You don't need Foundation.**

Then I came. We all went outside the Great Hal

**Daisy, Daisy give me your answer, do**

**I'm half crazy all for the love of you.**

**It won't be a stylish marriage,**

**I can't afford a carriage,**

**But you'd look sweet upon the seat**

**Of a bicycle built for two.**

and looked in from a widow. A fucking prep called Britney from Griffindoor was standing next to us.

**Kill her, Britney, you know you want to. BE the hero, BE the savior.**

She was wearing a pink mini and a Hilary Duff t-shirt so we put up our middle fingers at her.

**Ebony is such a bitch.**

Inside the Great Hall we could see Dumbledork.

**What happened to Dumbledore?**

Cornelia Fudged was there shouting at Dumbledore. Doris Rumbridge was there too."THIS CANNOT BE!" she shouted angrily. "THE SCHOOL MUST BE CLOSED!"

**YAY!**

**The Fake Hogwarts is gone!**

"THE BARK LORD

**BARK lord? Oh God hahahaha**

IS PLANNING TO KILL THE STUDENTS!" yelled Cornelia Fudge."YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE THE PRINCIPAL ANY LONGER!" yelled Rumbridge.

**He wasn't principle in the first place. He was HEADMASTER.**

"YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR VOLDEMORT WILL KILL YOUR STUDENTS!"

**I don't think it matters if Dumbledore is there or not.**

**Since when did he have Alzheimer's?**

**Never.**

"Very well." Dumbledore said angrily. "Butt we cannot do this. We can't close the school. There is only one person who is capable of killing Voldemort

**Harry.**

and she is in the school.

**Harry…wait..SHE?**

**OH MIRTHFUL MESSIAHS NO.**

And her name is…..Enony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way."

**NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO**

***Mental Breakdown Mode Active***

Draco, Crab, Goyle, Darkness, Willow, Vampire and B'loody Mary looked at each other…I gasped.

**Look at what you've done, Tara, you broke MC!**

* * *

**For those who didn't get the song reference, look up Daisy Bell, Hal 9000 sung it once. She mentioned Hal, we sang the song.**


	23. They Want to Shit next to Her

**We're alive, sorry, been busy. Studying for ACT tests, studying for the field test our grade has starting tomorrow (We are getting forced to test out a long ass test), and getting ready for a dance our parents are forcing us to go to.**

**I never thought I would be forced to go to prom. :/**

* * *

Chapter : dhut da fok up biches!1 ur jus jelos koz I gut 10000 reviowz!

**I can honestly say I doubt it. None of the reviews are good anyways.**

1 fangz 2 raven 4 da help n telin me bout da boox gurlu rok letz go shopin 2getha!

**Raven, you failed at explaining the books.**

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The door opened and Proffesor Rumbridge and Cornelia Fudge stomped out angrily.

**They were angry because they were dragged into this story.**

Then Dumbledum and Rumbridge sawed us."MR. WAY WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!" Rumbridge shouted angrily.

**NOW you censor stuff? Poorly censored?**

Dumbledore blared at her."Oops she made a mistake!" he corrupted her. "She means hi everybody cum in!"

**-side her.**

**Seriously?**

Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other students. I sat between Darkness and Draco and opposite B'loody Mary. Crab and Goyle started 2 make some morbid jokes.

**I got one: Tell me everyone, what is famous for it's pure horror in literature? Two words**

**My Immortal. And that was a shitty joke!**

**Oh shut up.**

They both looked exactly like Ville Vollo. I eight some Count Chocula and drank som blood from a cup.

**I forgot about her destroying my favorite October cereal brand.**

Then I herd someone shooting angrily.

**Again, why are their guns at Hogwarts, when you have wands?**

I looked behind me it was…Vampire! He and Draco were shooting at eachother.

**If only that was true.**

"Vampire, Draco WTF?" I asked."You fucking bustard!" yelled Draco at Vampire.

**Why are they yelling at each other? Randomly might I add.**

"I want to **shit **next to her!1"

**Oh God pffft hahahaha**

**HEhehaha!**

"No I do!" shouted.

**I've got to admit, this is a stupid thing to fight over.**

"No she doesn't fucking like u, you son of a bitch!" yelled Draco."No fuck you motherfucker she laves me not you!" shouted Vampire.

**I think I preferred it when Vampire and Draco were together then when they were fighting over Ebony.**

And then… he jumped on Draco! (no not in dat way u perv)

**You mentioned it that way, not us.**

They started to fight and beat up each yelled at them but they didn't stop. All of a sudden… a terrible man with red eyes and no nose flew in on his broomstick.

**Hey, Voldemort, mind giving me a lift? I was trying to go to Hogwarts but ended up at Shitsworths.**

He had no nose and was wearing a gray robe.

**You already said he had no nose. So I guess you really do want that membership card to the Department of Redundancy Department.**

All the glass in the window he flew thru fell apart. Britney that fucking prep started to cry.

**I think Britney might be a main character, she actually mentioned her twice.**

**MC, Britney is going to be the hero of the story. She's being trained to kill Ebony.**

Vampire and Draco stopped fighting….I shopped eating….

**You were just sitting their eating as your boyfriend and other boyfriend beat the shit out of each other?**

Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent….Volzemort!"

**Oh, I thought it was Voldemort. I guess he decided it wasn't worth it to come here.**

Eboby…..Ebony…." Darth Valer sed evilly in his raspy voice.

**Darth Valer? Is she meaning Darth Vader?**

**…YOU FUCKING BITCH HOW DARE YOU BRING STAR WARS INTO THIS!**

"Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Vampire as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Draco too!""Plz don't make me kill him plz!" I begged.

**Why does he want Ebony to kill Vampire? Isn't it smarter to just find someone else and kill Ebony?**

**Spades, this is My Fucking Immortal.**

"No!" he laughed crudely. "Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!"

**Either way Vampire dies. Me gusta.**

Then he flew away cackling.I bust into tears. Draco and Vampire came to contort me. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic.

**My sister can do that. It's not cool, it's disturbing and she looks like she's possessed.**

**Call Sam and Dean next time she does that, she might actually be possessed.**

I had a vision were I saw some lighting flash and then Voldremot coming to kill Draco while Draco slit his wrists in a depressed way.

**Doesn't Draco ALWAYS do that?**

"No!" I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision."Ebony Ebony aure you alright?" asked Draco in a worried voice."Yeah yeah." I said sadly as I got up."Everyfing's all right Enoby." said Vampire all sensetive.

**I am going to refrain from commenting here.**

"No its not!" I shouted angrily. Tearz of blood went down my face. "OMFG what if I'm getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!"

**Wasn't that a movie made in the 2000's? It's still the 90's in this story.**

**Do you really think she knows what the fucking date is?**

"Its ok gurl." said B'loody Mary. "Maybe u should ask Proffesor Sinister about what the visions mean though."

"Ok bich." I said sadly and den we went.

**Do you just randomly call your friends 'bitch'?**

**….you probably do.**


	24. Whats Her Name?

Chapter : prepz stup flaming da story ur jus jelous so fuk u ok go 2 hel!11

**You don't want me to go to Hell. I'll cause a mutiny and end up taking over in less than a week,**

raven fagz 4 di help!

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Well we had Deviation next

**You mean Divination? Or is this a DeviantArt class? **

so I got to ask Proffessor Trevolry about the visions.

**Don't tell me she's friends with Trelawney.**

"Konnichiwa everybody come in." said Proffesor Sinister in Japanese.

**You mean Sinestra? Because she teaches Astronomy.**

She smelled at me with her gothic black lipstick. She's da coolest fucking teacher ever. She had long dead black hair with blood red tips and red eyes.

**Someone's got a huge crush on their teacher.**

(hr mom woz a vampire. She's also haf Japanese so she speaks it and everyfing. she n b'loody mry get along grate)

**Is it just me or does this not sound like the Professor at all, even for being in My Immortal?**

She's really young for a teacher. 2day she was wearing a black leather top with red lace and a long goffik black ripped dress. We went inside the black classroom with pastors of Emily the Strong.

**Emily the Strong was a pastor? Good to know?**

I raced my hand. I was wearing some black naie Polish with red pentagrams on it."What is it Ebony?" she asked.

"Hey I love ur nail polish where'd u get it, Hot Topik?""Yeah."

**Random is random.**

I answered. All the preps who didn't know what HT was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger.

**If I were a teacher there, she would be a frog and sent to dissection.**

**MC, if you were a Hogwarts teacher, everyone in this story would be a frog and dissected.**

"Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?"

**Spades. No.**

**Wasn't gonna say anything.**

"Ho about now?" she asked."OK." I said."OK class fucking dismissed every1." Proffesor Trevolry said and she let every1 go.

**Wait, what, which is it, Trelawney or Sinestra? You can't continue to swap names.**

"Except for you Britney." she pointed at Britney and sum other preps.

"Please do exorcize (geddit) 1 on page 3."

**Hey! What did Britney do!?**

"OK I'm having lotz of visions." I said in a worried voice. I'm so worried is Draco gong 2 she gave me a black cryptal ball to lock in. I looked at it.

**Cryptal? Is that the 'Goth' version of Crystal?**

"What do you c?" she asked."I said I see a black gothic skull and a pentagram."Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Draco.

**At least there wasn't any of thatâ Ś.SUSPENSE**

**Never do that again.**

He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black gothic Linkin Park t-shirt and blak Congress shoes.

**Honestly it sounds like he looks like an idiot.**

"Okay you can go now, see ya cunt." said Proffesor Sinister.

**KEEP HER NAME CONSTANT! WHICH IS SHE?!**

"Bye bitch." I said waving.I went to Draco and Vampire was sitting next to him. We both followed Draco together and I was so exhibited.

**Is it normal for friends to insult each other like that?**

**Beats me, douche.**

**Oh, God. You're being indoctrinated by My Immortal! WE NEED TO GET YOU AWAY BEFORE YOU TURN INTO EBONY!**


	25. Draco Can't Drive

**Thank you to Harold Lloyd for saying yes it can rain and snow at the same time,**

Chapter : stop flaming ok if u dnot den il tel Justin 2 bet u up!1

**Oh yeah! Well I'll just tell Spades to beat Justin up!**

111 n il tel al da nredz 2 put vrtuz in ur computer!11111111111

**Think all the flames are finally breaking her?**

**Here's hoping.**

FUK UU!1 raven fangz for de help!1

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I was so excited. I fellowed Draco wandering if we where going 2 do it again.

**Is that ALL she thinks about?**

**It's like the mind of a guy is her mind!**

**Hey!**

We went outside and then we went into Draco's black car."Ebony what the fuck did Profesor Trevolry say." Whispered

**They were discussing how best to beat the upcoming war.**

Draco potting his gothic whit hand with bvlak nail polish on mine.

"She said she would tell me what the visions meant torromow." I grumbled in a sexy voice.

**I find it hard to see how 'grumbling' can be sexy. Well each person has their own fetish.**

He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork.

**Druggies and using a spork.**

He started to fly the car into a tree.

**FINALLY! Please tell me they died.**

We went to the top of it. Draco put on some MCR."And all the things that you never ever told meAnd all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me." sang Gerard's sexy voice.

**Damn it. They lived. Poor tree though.**

We started tiling of each other's cloves fervently.

**Tiling each other's clothes? Lol**

He took of my blak thong and my black leather bar. I took of his black boxers. Then…

**Damn it, the shitty suspense is back! **

he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily.

**So…Draco is some kind of mechanphile? Does she just carry tools around randomly for him to fuck?**

"OMFG Draco Draco!" I screamed having an orgism.

**Come on, sound like it girl! I can fake an orgasm and it would sound more realistic than this!**

We stated frenching passively.

**Not much love here, huh?**

Suddenly… I fell asleep.

**Don't you just hate it when your partner falls asleep in the middle of sex?**

**How would you know? You're still a virgin.**

**Shut up.**

I started having a dream. In it a black guy was shooting two goffik men with long black hair."No! Please don't fucking kill us!1" they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a red car.

**…Weird dream?**

**Bad ominous psychic dream?**

**Probably.**

"No! Oh my fucking god!11" I shouted in a scared voice."Ebony what's wrong?" Draco asked me as I woke up opening my icy blue eyes.

**Holy shit, she remembered what the color of her characters eyes were.**

I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face. I told Draco to call Vampire. He did it with his blak Likin Park mobile.

**I am angry that they are insulting Linkin Park, but I will refrain from an angry outburst and wait for Britney to finish her training and save us all.**

Butt the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where… Lucian and Serious!111

**Who? I don't remember any character named Lucian and Serious.**

**There was a Lucius and a Sirius. Maybe they're the same people?**

**Nah, she wouldn't be that stupid.**

**…..**

**….**

**Yes ****she ****i****s**


	26. Ebony is Divisible

Chapter : PREPZ STUP FLAMING SDA STRY OK!1 if u dnot lik da story den go fok urself u fokeng prep!

**Is it bad that I enjoy these rants of hers?**

**Nope.**

U SUK!111 oh y and I wuznt beng rasist ok!11

**She was being racist? I didn't notice it.**

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A few mutates later Vampire came 2 da tree.

**A few mutates later. This story is a true mutation of fanfics.**

He was wearing a blak leather jackson, black leather pants and a Good Chralotte t-shirt.

**Why is it that she forgot that Hogwarts has a school uniform?**

"Hi Vampire." I said flirtily as I started to sob.

**You're flirting with Vampire, right in front of your boyfriend. You have no right to cry.**

Draco hugged me sexily tryont to comfrot me.

**Not everything is sexy you know.**

I started to cry tears of blood and then told them what happened.

**Considering how often they cry, I'm surprised they aren't suffering Blood Loss.**

"Oh fuck it!" Vampire shouted angrily.

He4 started to cry sadly. "What fucking dick did that!"

**It was Ebony's dick that did that.**

"I don't know." I said. "Now come on we have 2 tell Dumbledor."We ran out of the tree and in2 da castle. Dumblydor was sitting in his office.

**Wasn't he fired?**

"Sire are dads have been shot!" Draco said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. "Enoby had a vision in a dreem."Dubleodre started to cockle.

**He's laughing because he knows how pathetic this story is.**

"Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Ebony's not divisional?"I glared at Dumbledore.

**Is he trying to say that Ebony is divisible**

**Or that she's Delusional?**

"Look motherfucker." he said angrily as Dumbeldore gasped

**Oh no you didn't.**

(c is da toot of crakter).

**What?**

"U know very well that I'm not decisional.

**Of course we know that. You never consider the effects after you make a decision.**

Now get some fucking ppl out there to look for Series and Lucian- pornto!"

**Why the fuck does she care so much? So far this story made them look like bad guys.**

"Okay." he said in a intimated voice.

**DUMBLEDORE WOULD NOT HAVE BEEN INTIMIDATED BY HER!**

"Were are they?"I fought about it. Then all of a suddenâ Ś.. "Longdon."

**Where's Longdon? And is it a stupid fucked up city of moronic psychopaths like Ebony?**

I said. I told him which street. He went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few mistunes he came back and said people were going out looking for them.

**Why is Dumbledore listening to her?**

After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Draco, Vampire and I all left to our rooms together.

**That was fast. I guess Longdon was the basement.**

I went with Draco to wait in the nurses office while Vampire went to slit his wrists in his room.

**Why would you just leave a friend to go slit his wrists? Tell me readers, do you just abandon your friend and walk away like nothing happened if your friend is slitting their wrist and you know about it? If you know they are doing it right this very second, what would you do?**

We looked at each other's gothic, derperessed eyes. Then, we kissed. Suddenly Serious and Lucian came in on stretchersâ Ś.and Proffesor Sinister was behind them!1

**Dramatic effects that wasn't really needed.**


	27. Plan 'Seduce Thy Enemy'

**Hey everyone, sorry for late posts. Was working on a project of mine. No Spades today.**

Chapter 27. vampirz wil never hurt u

**Yes they will.**

AN: u no wut!111 I dnot giv a fok wut u prepz fink abot me!

**Obviously, you do.**

1111 so stup flaming da foking story bichez!1111

**If you didn't care, you would have been ignoring us.**

fangz 2 raven 4 ur luv n sport n help i luv u gurl soz i kodnt update lol

**I'm sorry, but you need a LOT of help right now.**

I wuz rly deprezzd n I silt muh rists I had 2 go 2 da hospital

**Why didn't they keep you?**

rraven u rok gurl!

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Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them.

**You didn't do anything.**

Drako, Lucian, Serious bond Vampire all came to hug me.

**Who are they?**

The nurse started to give them medicine."Cum on Enoby." said Proffesor Sinatra.

**Pfft…oh God…I'm becoming Spades.**

She was wearing a gothic blak leader dress with a corset top and real vampir blood on it and fuking black platinum boots.

**Sounds stupid.**

"I have to tell you the fucking perdition."I locked at Lucian, Serifs, Drake and Vampire.

**Who the fuck are those three?**

They nodded.I smelled happily and went into a dark room. I had changed Profesor Sinister took out some black cards. She started to look into a black crucible ball.

**Someone likes not being able to see.**

She said… "Tara, I see drak times are near."

**We're already in dark times, we're reading My Fucking Immortal.**

She said badly. She peered into da balls. "You see, you must go back in time." She took out a Time-Toner like B'loody Mary had.

**You're…seriously trusting her with something like this?**

"When Voldemint was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken. Now do you fink he would still become Volxemort if he was in love?"

**Yes. Who wants to take one when you can have both true love and power?**

I shook my head. "U must go back in time and sedouce him.

**So, she has to fuck Voldemort? Yay**

***Sarcasm Mode Active***

It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it."

**They obviously don't understand the laws of Time Travel. Making changes in time will only result in an alternate timeline. The Alpha Timeline will still go unchanged, if the Alpha Timeline is altered at all, the changes become worse and worse the further in time you get. Some students might not be born. Why would you even want to go back in time, it's too big of a risk.**

**Wait. It's My Immortal.**

"Okay." I said sadly. We did dethz tuch sin.

**What?**

I went outside again sadly."What fucking happened?" asked Draco and Vampire."Yeah what happened?" asked Darkness, Willow and Boldy Mary?

**She just got expelled.**

I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Lucian and Sirius being fond.

**Who cares?**

Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Draco.

**What did she do to earn praise!?**

They were cheesing my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumblydore.

**Why are there reporters at Hogwarts? Why is it such a big deal that the two were found?**

A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking prepz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the HIM sign on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of him.

**Ugh, this is just. Can I go home yet?**

Even Mr. Noris looked happy.

**The cat is happy? Who cares!**

A blak and red cake had been brought out. Crabbe and Goyke set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Wesley's Whizard Wises.I put on my Invisibility coke with Vampire and Draco and we sneaked outside 2gether.

**Since when was it YOUR invisibility cloak? **

XxX

**Ugh, guys, can I just quit yet?**


	28. Like a Stallion

Chapter : I sed stop gflmaing da story

**Never!**

it wuz a miskat wen profsor relory

**Who is Relory?**

sed dat ok!11111111 GO 2 FOKENG HELL!1111 U SUK! fangz 2 fily 4 da help!1! raven hav fun wif kiwi!1111111

**Kiwi is an awesome fruit but I don't think I want to know what she means by 'have fun'. *Shudders***

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We went in2 a blak room. The wallz were blak

**Thank you department of redundancy department, I didn't know you delivered.**

with portraits of gothic bands lik MCR, GC and Marlin Mason all over them. A big black coffin was in the middle. Red vevlet lined da blak box.

**This is going to be a long day. *Drinks some coffee***

There were three chairs made of bones with real skullz in dem.

**The skulls of our enemies, soon yours will join them Ebony, soon, oh so very soon.**

I wuz wearing a blak corset bar wif purple stuff on it, fishnet suckings and a blak leather thong underneath.

**Okay, girls help me out here! I don't know much about the female undergarments but a leather thong can't be comfortable at all. Right?**

I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly.

**What, did she turn into wind and vanish into the air?**

So did Drako and Vampire."Are you okay?" Vampir asked potting his albastard hand on mine.

**Yeah, was necessary to remind us this shit.**

He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing blak nail polish with red crosses on it."Yah I guess." I said sadly. Drako also pot his hand on mine sexily.

**How is that sexy?**

I smiled sadly with my blak lipstick.

**Too much unnecessary information.**

"The problem is….I have to seduce Volxemort.

**What about Voldemort?**

Ill have 2 go bak in time"Draco started to cry sadly. Vampire hugged him."Itz okay Eboby." he said finally.

**Why is HARRY the one comforting Ebonys boyfriend and not Ebony**

"But what about me? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, are you?""Of coarse not!" I gasped.

**Draco you should dump her. **

"Really?" he asked."Sure." I frenched sexily. Vampire looked at us

**Way to remember you have a guest guys, now Vampire is the third wheel.**

… I took off Draco's MCR shrift and seductvely took of his pants.

**You have a guest! Learn some decency please!**

He was hung lik a stallone. He had replaced the Vampire tattoo with one that said Enoby on it.

**So he got a tattoo removal then replaced it with a new one, painful and expensive. But considering what this story is, she probably thought he just washed it off and drew a new one on.**

Black roses were around it. I gasped. He lookd exactly lik Gerard Way.

**No he doesn't. **

Vampire took a vido camera. (I had sed it wuz ok b4).

**Post it on Youtube, humiliate them forever!**

I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r started freching as we climbed into the cofin. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it.

**Why is it every 'romantic' thing you do has to be done passively? What about the passion!?**

"I love you Eboby. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u." he screamed as we got an orgasm. We watched Vampire filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly….

**Harry took out a machine gun and killed you all. Being the boss he should be.**

"WHAT THE FUCK R U DOING!"It was….Snope and Profesor McGoggle!111

**Making a porno.**


	29. Bringing Magic to a Gun Fight

Spades smiled at the group as she sat in a plush red chair, "Okay guys, just a friendly reminder to everyone," she said holding a hand up and wiggling a finger, "This story, Burning My Immortal to the Ground? Yeah, this is poking fun at a _trollfic_, a reknowned trollfic, as in the author of the original was purposely making it horrible for the sole purpose of pissing everyone off. What are we doing? Getting pissed off about it like Tara wanted. So does it really matter?"

Beside her, M.C rolled his eyes in annoyance, "you know, that isn't what this announcement was about," he stated.

Spades blinked in confusion before turning towards her short companion, "It wasn't?" she asked and he just nodded. After a second a lightbulb light up above her head, "Ah right! A new chapter of Pegasus was posted the other day, we're starting the Leviathan arc on it. A new chapter of Blue Seas and Fire Palace is under construction and we're nearing the end of that story!"

Sighing, M.C raised his hand and slapped the back of Spades head, "That isn't it either, you idiot!" he snapped, his annoyance slowly turning into anger.

"Those two stories weren't our announcement? Um...oh! Only three chapters left, including this chapter! After that we'll all be caught up!" she exclaimed happily and grinned, "After chapter thirty one, we'll be done with posting our old chapters and will be writing new ones! So fresh jokes!"

Groaning loudly, M.C shook his head, "Again, wrong you fucking idiot!" he yelled, yanking her by the ear as he turned to the crowd, "We're going to be taking down Spades 'Hidden Prophecies' review, because of the fact that it wasn't a concrete 'troll story' considering that it appeared to have actual effort put into it, keeping it up will make us feel like complete dicks."

Spades gave an awkward smile, "So, tomorrow afternoon we're deleting it. Just thought we'd give you guys a heads up."

Backstage, a black haired demon frowned at them, "Can you guys shut up about this shit and get on with the review?" he demanded, earning a scowl from M.C.

"Shut the fuck up, Khaxan!"

"You shut up, midget!"

"Demon!"

"Shorty!"

"Priss!"

"Dwarf!"

Spades had a smile but a dark aura around her, "Boys...so immature..." she said before attacking the two bickering boys who were now in each others faces.

After a somewhat comedic fight, Khaxan was behind the curtain, bandaging up some cuts, M.C was on his chair covered in bruises, his sweater torn and his hair a mess from the fight. His scowl replaced with a look of fear as he glanced at his co-host nervously. Spades just smiled happily like nothing had happened.

"Let's start the review!" she cheered.

* * *

Chapter : sot das fok up!11 ur jus jelouz koz ur prepz so fok u!

**Actually according to that quiz you made, I'm 'Goffik'.**

1111 raven u rok gurl fangz 4 da help MCR ROX 666!111111111111XXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX XXXXXX

**Hey, where's my popcorn? I'm going to need popcorn for this!**

"Oh my satan!1"

**Oh My Pluto!**

we screamed as we jamped out of da coffin.

**That would be funny if it wasn't in this story.**

Snap and Professor McGoonagle started to shoot at us angrily."CUM NOW!1!"

**Heh heh heh.**

Preacher McGongel yielded.

**Three things wrong in those three words. Tell me if you can tell what they are!**

We did guiltily.

**Hehehe pfft haha**

We left the room putting on our clothes. Snoop garbed the caramel and put it in his pocket.

**Shouldn't you put it in a Ziploc bag so you don't ruin your pockets?**

"Hey what the fuck!111" Vampire shooted angrily.

**Calm your tits Harry, it's just caramel.**

"Yeah buster what the fuck are u going to do with the fucking camera?" Draco demonded all protective,

**He will post it on the internet.**

looking at me Longley with his gothic red eyes. "Look, Dumblehor noes your little secret and if u do dis again, then u will go to St Mango's.

**St. Mango is better than this, hands down.**

So give back da camera!1111

**You really don't want to be ordering Snape around, haven't you paid any attention to the series?**

"Hahahaha the Mystery of Mogic

**Ministry of Magic.**

thinks he is crazy there is no way dey wil believe him. Snoop laughed meanly."Yes so shut your mputh you inlosent fools!" yelled Proffesor McGoggle.

**I would laugh if it wasn't so sad that they turned her into a bitch.**

She made us cum into a weird room with white stones all around it.

**PFFT! HAHAHA!**

There were all these werid tools in it. Draco started to cry all sexy and sexitive (geddit koz hes a sexbom lol tom felnot rulez 4 lif but nut as muxh as gerard ur sex on legz I luv u u fokeng rok mary me!111).

**…. I think Mr. Way might want to invest into a restraining order.**

I started to cry tearz of blood (it hapnz in vrampir kroniklz raven sed so ok so fok u!1).

**But this isn't Vampire Chronicles. So that is invalid.**

Vampire took out a black honkerchief

**Honkerchief?! DID HE STEAL THAT FROM GAMZEE OR KURLOZ?!**

**Oh fucking shit they are so dead.**

and started to wipe my red then….. he and Snoop both took out guns using magic.

**Why take out guns using magic, when you could just use magic to fight? Why the hell do you need guns?!**

They started to shoot each other angrily. Non of the ballots gut on eachodder yet. I took out my wand.

**I'm pretty sure the bullets would have gotten to them by then.**

"Crosio!" I shouted. Snap stated 2 scram he dropd da gun.

**What spell is that supposed to be?**

But it was too late. Both of them had run out of ballets.

**Were they voting? VOTE ME! I will be a great world dictator, I will make it illegal to degrade the Harry Potter series.**

I STOPPED DA CURSE.

**Can we do a reverse curse and curse her?**

Profesor McGoogle did a spell so that we were all chained up. She took out a box of tools.

**Oh God…Is she…is she…Is she a Repo Woman?!**

**_Reeeepoooo maaaaaaaan!_**

**_Reeeeeeeeepoooo Maaaaaan!_**

**I fucking love that movie.**

Den she said "OK Serverus I'm going 2 go now." She left. Snap started to laugh evilly. Vampire started to cry.

**I would cry to if I was in his place, but only because I was in the story.**

"It's ok Enoby." said Draco. "Evergreen will be all right.

**Yes! Because the trees are way more important than your miserable lives! GO TREES!**

Remember the cideo u took of Snake."Snape laughed again.

**What's a Cideo?**

And then...he took out some whips!1!1111

**Is he…a domnitrix? **

* * *

**I think Tara gave up on any attempt at a plot and it is now the Sex-Joke-Material of the Week.**


	30. Chapter of the Guest

**We had something in the original and we ended up with a guest reviewer; Twindoomsday (Doesn't have the same username anymore) so its just the two of us in this chapter.**

**TD will be in italics, no bold, just so you know.**

* * *

_Hey everyone! Twindoomsday here!_

**Already introduced you, TD.**

_Well, let's get this started, right?_

**You are going to regret this, my friend.**

soz 4 soz 4 sayin alzhimers is dongerous but datz da mysteries opinin koz sosiety basically sux.

**Society does not suck!**

_I can see how it's dangerous, but really? Really? Blaming society?_

fangz 2 raven u rok bich!111XXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**I should go up to MC one day and just say 'You rock, douche bag' to him. See how annoyed he gets.**

_Let's go and do that to our friends after this, deal?_

**Deal.**

"No!11" we screamed sadly. Snap stated loafing meanly.

**Loafing?**

_Doesn't that mean aimless?_

He took out a kamera anvilly. Thenâ Ś he came tords Darko!1! He took sum stones out of his poket.

**What's Donnie Darko doing here?**

_Wrong movie Donnie._

He put da stones around Draco

_Wouldn't it be better to stone him to death, like in The Lottery?_

and nit a candle."What the fuck r u doing!" I shooted arngrily. Snoop laughed meanly. He polled down his pants.

**Wow I didn't see that coming. Sex is the main driving force in this story I suppose.**

I gasped- there was a Dork Mark on his you-know-wut!11!

**Da fuck? Snape has a whale penis tattooed on his penis?**

_Hahahaha XD_

He waved his wand and a nife came. He gave da knife 2 me."U must stab Vrompire."

**Seriously, why use magic when you have a knife?**

_How often do they use magic in fights in this series?_

**Not enough compared to their use of guns.**

he said to me. "If u don't then I'll rap Draco!1

**I would be concerned if she didn't care. But hey, stab Potter in the leg.**

_Yeah, he didn't say where she had to stab him. It can be a nonlethal stab._

""No you fucking bastrad!1" I den Draco looked at me sadly with his evil goffik red eyes dat looked so depressant and sexy. He lookd exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im a satanist)

**I fail to see how he can look like a pentagram. Is that even possible?**

_Would be so freaking painful._

between Kurt Cobain and Gerard. But then I looked at Vampire and he looked so smexy too wif his goffik black hair.

**Needless choosing over 2 love interests. Oh god its 'Liara or Kadian' all over again. Wait, no, I never liked Kaidan so it was never a hard choice.**

_Oh God, me too!_

I thought of da time when we screwed and the time I did it with Draco and Dumblydore came and the tame where Draco almost commited suicide and Vampire wuz so laughed angrily.

**Eh. Flashback? Short flashback.**

He started to prey to Volxemort.

**Pray to Saturn! All hail Saturn! God of Time!**

_And to Pluto! God of the Underworld!_

He started to do an incapacitation dancing around the stokes whipping Draco and Vampire. Suddenly an idea I had. I clozd my eyes and using my vampire powers I sent a telepathetic massage to Drako and Vampire so they would destruct Snape.

**Giving her plot device powers. Didn't we already use this one?**

_She never used that before?_

**And never will again.**

"Dumbeldork will get u!" Draco shooted."Yah just wait ubtil da Mystery find out!11"

**Ministry.**

Vampire yelled. Meanwhile I took out my wand."You ridiculus dondderhed!111" Snoop yielded. He took off all of Drico's clothes.

**Is it bad that I'm hoping he rapes him? Because maybe there will be an actually decent NSFW scene?**

_No, it's not bad. Well I guess it is bad but meh__._

Just as he was about to rape himâ Ś."Crosio!" I shited pointing my wound.

**The hell is that spell!?**

_I poorly spelt heavily mutilated spell?_

Snoop scremed and started running around da room screming.

**Oh, I can do that too! *Runs around room screaming***

_Let me join! _

Meanwhile I grabed my blak mobile and sent a txt 2 Serious. I stopped doing crucio.

**I honestly doubt that's a real spell.**

_You never know._

"You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-" shooted Snape but suddenly Serverus put the whip behind his bak. "Oh hello Sev I wuz just teaching them sumthing." he lied.

**If Snape lied, it would be more believable. **

_She's acting as though Snape is the worst liar ever, Snape is probably the best._

But suddenly Lusian and Profesor Trevolry came in2 da room and they and Serious unlocked the chains and put dem around Snap. Then Profesor Trevolry said 'Come on Ebony let's go."

**I'm not even going to comment on the stupidity.**

* * *

**Well, that was Chapter 30. Thank you TwinDoomsday for reviewing with me. Will we ever see you on here again?**

_Never will see me on here. But thank you, I don't think I'm going to review My Immortal on my series, from what it looks like, I won't get past the single digit chapters. Thanks for having me, thanks for reading everyone, goodbye_

* * *

**Last of the reposting chapters.**

**Starting tomorrow we'll be posting newly written ones.**

**Yeah, we lied in the last chapter about how many were left**


	31. Quiephs

**So, we're currently up to date. All chapters from this point on are fresh and not reposted from our original posts.**

**And...I have nothing to say~**

Chapter 31

AN: I sed shut da fok up u quiephs!111

**We've been called a quieph**

**The hell is a quieph?**

stop kalin ebony a mary su ok u dnot even no wutz gong 2 happen ok so fuk u!1111

**We don't need to know what happens in the future to know she's a mary sue.**

fangz 2 muh bff raven 4 di help!1111

**Get better betas.**

**I can give you a list**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**I swear, the internet is just full of all these fake goths who think Satanism, Atheism and all this shit is cool when they don't even understand what it is.**

"I always knew u were on Voldemort's side, you sun of a bitca (bufy rox!111)." Serious said 2 Snape.

**Yeah, nope. Read the books or watch the movie because Snape is a good guy. Yeah, it was a shocker to everyone.**

"No I'm not I was teaching them somefing!1" Snap clamed.

**'How to Be OOC 101'.**

"Oh fucking yeah?" I took some blak Volremortserum out of my poket and gave it to Serverus.

**So drug him.**

He made Snap dirnk it. He did arngrily. Then Luscious took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he did curses on Snap. Then Proffesor Sinister and Lucian made us get out wif them while Snape told his secretes.

**Volremortserum is a truth serum? Isn't her OC teacher addicted to this shit?**

Lucian took Vampure and Draco to the nurse after thanking me a millon times.

**What did Enoby do?**

**I don't know.**

Profesor Trevolry took me to a dark room. Now I wuz going to go back in time to sedouce Volxemort.

**You don't seem to really care.**

Moving posters of MCR and Nrivana were all over. Hermoine, Darkness and Willow came too.

**Anyone know how Willow is alive again?**

B'loody Mary gave me a blak bag from Tom Rid's store.

**RAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHH! ITS TOM RIDDLE! **

"Whatz in da bag?" I asked Profesor Trevolry.

"U will c." she said. I opened thee bag. In it was a sexy tite low-smut black leather gothic dress. It had red korset stuff and there was a silt up da leg. I put it on.

**Changing in the middle of a lot of other people. Okay.**

My frendz helped me put on blak fishnetz and blak pointy boots Willow had chosen. Willow and Darkness helped me put on black eyeliner and blod-red lipshtick.

"You look fucking kawaii, bitch." B'loody Mary said.

**STOP. USING. KAWAII!**

**Honestly, I hate it when people put words like kawaii, Baka, or Japanese words in fanfictions that are written in English. It's just a pet peeve.**

"Fangs." I said.

"Ok now you're going to go back in tim." said Proffesor Sinister. "U will have to do it in a few sessionz." She gave me a blak gun.

**Why is she being given a gun when she uses magic?**

**No idea, probably because she's so bad at magic she needs to use a gun.**

I put it in a strap on my fishnetz like in Redisnet Evill. Then she gave me a black time-tuner. "After an hour use da time torner to go back here." Proffesor Trevolry said. Then she and B'loody Mary put a Pensive in front of me. Every1 went in front of it.

***Looks at watch to see if we're done yet***

"Good luk!1" Everryone shooted. Darkess and Willow gave me deth's touch sin.

**What? Deaths Touch Sin? The fuck?**

Then….. I jumped sexily in2 da Pensive.

**Yeah, jumping into it is sexy. Nope.**

Suddenly I was in fornt of teh School. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth guyz I had ever seen. He was wering long blak hair, kinda like Mikey Way only black. He had gren eyes like Billie Joe Amstrung and pale whit skin. He wuz wearing a blak ripped up suit wif Vans. It was….Tom Bombodil!1111

**ITS! FRICK! FUCK! ARH! **

**I think M.C lost the ability to speak coherent sentences. **


	32. Time Travel Future Seeing

"Breath your life into me~ I'm falling, falling faster," Spades sung as she walked into the stage, earbuds in place as she spun a bit, obviously caring for nothing but her music. When she took her seat next to M.C, she turned off her Ipod and grinned happily, "_Red _is a freaking awesome band, no one can tell me otherwise," she declared proudly.

M.C rolled his eyes and looked away, "Didn't you say the same thing about Linkin Park and Three Days Grace last year?" he asked.

But Spades playfully hit him, "I get older, my taste in music changed," she defended herself with a good humor to her tone, "Anyways, I just declared one of my current favorite bands. Why not declare one of yours?"

"What has this got to do with the review?"

"Nothing~"

His eye twitched at this as he glared at his smiling blonde friend. But seeing as there was nothing he could do to change her mind, he gave a sigh of defeat, "Fine," he said sitting up straight, "I think Icon for Hire is the best band out there. Is there any reason for me saying this? No, there is none except Spades told me to."

Looking away, he grumbled something about how 'Make a Move was an amazing song', before sitting straight again, "So, what are we reviewing now?" He asked.

But Spades didn't answer at all.

He turned to the girl only to find she had her Ipod on again and was singing another song by Red.

Face palming and scowling, he yanked the earbuds out, throwing them off stage, and glared at the blonde, "You're lucky I like you or I would so hit you for all the times you do annoying shit," He grumbled.

Spades smiled and gave him a hug, "You wouldn't hurt me, you _loooove _me~" she sung.

The brown haired teens eye twitched once again, "Oh, God! You're being more energetic and weird then usual, Spades! Its the chocolate isn't it! We are not having you have anymore chocolate again!" He shouted, his face red, "AND I DO NOT LOVE YOU! GET THAT DISGUSTING THOUGHT OUT OF YOUR MIND!"

The girl just giggled before addressing the readers, "Anyways, while M.C sits in denial about his love for me, how about we get this review on the way? How does a new chapter for Burning My Immortal to The Ground sound?" tape recorded cheers were heard, "Great! Lets get started!"

* * *

AN: I sed stup fflaming

**We will never stop flaming.**

**Yeah, if we stopped making fires, M.C would be a very sad boy.**

I no his nam iznt tom bodil dat wuz a mistak!1111

**THEN WHY NOT CORRECT THE MISTAKE?!**

if u dnot lik de story den u kan go skrew urself!

**You first, Tara. You first.**

**...I don't know if that should be considered a sex joke or not. **

**You'll understand when your older.**

11111 U SUK!111111

**You suck, you little bitch!**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXX**XXXXXXUXXXXXSXXXXUXXXXCXXXXKXXXXXTXXXAXXRXXXAXXX**

"Hi." I said flirtily. "Im Enoby Way da new student."

**"And I'm out of here," M.C said, quickly walking away from the new girl who was very creepy and slutty.**

I shok my pale handz wif their blak noil polish wif him.

**Why was there a need for describing your hands?**

"Da name's Tom." he said. "But u kan call me Satan.

**I totally read that as 'but u kan call me Santa.'**

**Who else did that?**

Datz ma middle nam"

**Bullshit.**

**No, it's Marvolo, you little idiot!**

We shok hands. "Well come on we have 2 go upstairs." Satan said.

**I KEEP READING SANTA! GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!**

I followed him. "Hey Satan…..do u happen to be a fan of Gren Day?" (sinz mcr and evinezenz dont exist yet den)

**NEITHER DOES GREEN DAY YOU FREAKING IDIOT! **

***RAGE MODE ACTIVE***

**This escalated quickly.**

I asked.

"Oh my fuking god, how did u know?" Satan gasped.

**"Because we're in My Immortal, everyone loves Green Day and any band Tara likes."**

"actually I like gc a lot too."(geddit coz gc did that song I just wanna live that's ounded really 80s)

**It would make sense if it wasn't for the fact that THESE SONGS WEREN'T MADE IN THE 80s YOU LITTLE-**

***Tackles M.C* Shhh...shhh...it's okay, she's just destroying music as we know it. shush hun, shush. **

**Get. Off. Me. NOW!**

"omg me too!" I replied happily.

"guess what they have a concert in hogsment." satan whispered.

"hogsment?" I asked.

**THE MOTHERFUCKING HOGSMENT, SHILO! **

**Oh, I see what you did there. **

"yeah that's what they used to call it in these time before it became Hogsmeade in 2000." he told me all sekrtivly.

**...HARRY POTTER TAKES PLACE IN THE NINETIES YOU IDIOT! IT ISN'T THE 2000 YET!**

"and theres a really cool shop called Hot-"

'topic!" I finshed, happy again.

**Wouldn't she be in like the 30s or 40s right now?**

**THERE IS NO HOT TOPIC!**

**Whoa there Spades, calm down. **

He froned confusedly. "noo its called Hot Ishoo." He smiled skrtvli again. "then in 1998 dey changd it to hot topic." he moaned.

**HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS SHIT YOU FUCKING BASTARD?!**

"ohh." now everything was making sense for me. "so is dumblydor your princepill?" I shouted.

"uh-huh." he looked at his black nails. "im in slitherin'"

**At least she got that right.**

"OMfG SHME TOO!" I SHRIEDKED.

"u go to this skull?"(geddit cos im goffik) he asked.

**Bad joke is painfully bad.**

"yah that's why im here im NEW." I SMELLED HAPPili.

**I don't want to smell like Happili, get me some Old Spice now. **

Suddenly dumblydore flew in on his broomstuck and started shredding at us angrily. "NO TALKING IN THE HALLS!"

**You heard the old man, SILENCE!**

**I KILL YOU!**

he had short blonde hair and was wearing a polo shirt from Amrikan ogle outfters. "STUPID GOFFS!"

**I think Dumbledore would still be old right now. Or not, I don't remember how old he is.**

**I always figured he was like a hundred or so years old *Shrugs* but I'm wrong probably.**

satan rolled his eyes. "his so mean to us goffs and punks just becose we're in slytherine and we're not preps."

**That has nothing to do with it.**

I turned around angrily. "actually I fink mebe its becos ur da barke lord."

**You heard it right guys, Tom here is the Bark Lord. Not the Dark Lord but the Bark Lord.**

"wtf?" he asked angrily.

"oh nuffin." I said sweetly.

**Enoby is the biggest idiot ever.**

then suddenlyn…. the floor opened. "OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. everyone looked At ME weirdly."

**Did she just yell all that out?**

**its in the quotation claws so yes, she just screamed 'OMFG NO I SCREAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. Everyone looked at ME weirdly.' **

"hey where r u goin?" satan asked as I fell.

**"TO THE FIELDS OF SUFFERING TO BE PUNISHED FOR ETERNITY BY NAVEROK!"**

I got out of the hole n it was bak in the pensive in professor trevolry's classroom. dumblydum wuz dere. "dumblydore I think I just met u." I said.

**And this is crazy**

**But here's my number.**

**So don't call me. Ever. I will fucking cut you if you do. **

"oh yeah I rememba that." dumblydor said, trying to be all goffik.

**You fail at being Goth, old man.**

**But so does Ebony and everyone else in here.**

sinister came in. "hey dis is my classroom wait wtf enoby what da hell r u doing?"

**Stealing all yo shit, motherfucking bitch.**

**Is it sad that I can see Ebony saying that?**

:"um." I looked at her.

"oh yeaH I forgot bout that."

**Professor Idiot alert.**

"wth how?" I screamed forgetting she was a teacher for a second.

**And Student Idiot at her heels.**

but shes a goff so its ok.

**No, it does not make it okay.**

professor sinster looked sad. "um I was drinking voldemortserum." she started to cry black tears of depression.

**So tears of depression are black.**

**Then how come mine are always clear?**

**YOUR NOT DEPRESSED ENOUGH TO GET THE BLACK TEARS.**

dumblydum didn't know about them.

**He does now.**

"hey r u crying tears of blood?" he asked curiously, tuching a tear.

**Bloooooood!**

**Blooooooooooooooooooood!**

"fuck off!" we both said and dumblydum took his hand away.

**You do not tell the headmaster what to do.**

professor sinster started crying again in her chair, sobbing limpid tears.

**Limpid...tears?**

"omfg enoby…I think im addicted to Voldemortserum."

**Isn't that a truth serum?**

**Apparantly not?**

AN: SEE U FOKKING PREPZ GO FOK URSELXXZ DATZ SERUS ISSUZ 2O GO 2 HELL!1111112

**...what?**


	33. NA hosts equal temporary Host

**Warning: More so swearing and language in this chapter than usual. You have been warned.**

_**Khaxan: They don't need any fucking warning. If they're reading this bullshit then they're probably old enough to read some cusses without crying to their mommies or daddies or whoever they live with!**_

**Be nice, Khaxan. Be a nice demon.**

_**Khaxan: Have you ever **_**_heard of a _nice _demon? No? Didn't think so._**

* * *

Spades smiled as she sat Indian style, her green SNK cloak was on like usual and she giggled slightly, the way she swayed showed that she may or may not be sober and it was looming more towards not so sober. Empty bottles of who knows what were littered at the bottom of the stage. Then again, dealing with the Burn for Forgiveness story on her own probably drove her to drinking after the last few chapters.

Somewhere above the stage, a sign lit up saying 'Underage Drinking is Bad! Do not follow her *arrow pointing down* example!' in green neon lighting.

"He~e~ey guys~" she slurred and swayed a little as she waved, "Sooo, M.C isn't able to write chapters. His computer is all busted like the stupid 'uter it is," she said scowling and hiccupped.

Pausing and blinking, as though forgetting where she was, she stared at the crowd and smiled, "What was I doing?" she asked and shook her head, "Oh right! My immortal! the shitty story that we review, yeah...review! I'm doing a solo review aren't I?" she asked before passing out on the stage.

Khaxan sighed as he walked beside Abel and onto the stage. The giant gorilla picked the drunk and passed out host up and carried her off stage.

"Sorry about that," Khaxan said to the crowd, an annoyed expression on his face, "Yeah, so M.C can't write chapters with a broken harddrive, Spades is too drunk to do a review, so I guess you guys got to go home," he explained, making a shooing motion.

He paused and put a finger to the earpiece hooked onto his pointed ear, "What? ...you've gotta be kidding me, are you insane or some shit?" he snapped into the mouthpiece, he was probably talking to ROM, "I'm not going-what? Ugh, fine! You owe me though, you tincan asshole!" he snapped and turned the crowd, who were in the middle of leaving.

"Sit your asses down now!" he shouted and the crowd scurried back into their seats, "Since our robotic director must have fried some circuits, I'm being told I'm your host for today. So lets get this show on the move! I want to go home and watch some episodes of _Inugami-san to Nekoyama-san_, that show is fucking hilarious, and adorbs as Hell."

The crowd mumbled, probably surprised that a demon who loves to kill was a fan of that show. He snarled at them, making them shut up and go silent.

He pulled out a bottle of Aspirin out of his pocket and sat down, "This girl is like a wannabe Satanist fake Goth bitch right?" he asked the crowd, receiving nods and people calling out to assure he was right. He just swore and groaned, "I got a feeling any mention she has of Hell, or beings of Hell is going to be highly offensive to me by just how stereotyped or fucked up she'll make it."

Again, Khaxan was given verbal agreement.

He snarled to himself as he sat down, his ears twitching before he took out the earpiece and crushed it between his fingers and swallowed a small handful of the pills, "I'm going to hate this, I hate this already," he growled, digging his claws into the stages floor and glared behind him, "Can someone start the damn thing already?!" He snapped.

* * *

_AN: I sed shut up itz nut my folt ok if u don't lik da story _

**_Considering what bullshit this story is, yes it is your fault!_**

_den ur a prep so fuk u flamerz!1111 _

**_I'm pretty sure I'm not a fucking prep. My girlfriend may be a bit preppy but I sure as the Seven Circles of Hell am _not _a prep!_**

_ps im nut updating ubtil u giv me fiv god reviewz nd diz tim I men it!111111_

**_I wish you would stick to that and not give yourself five fucking good reviews._**

_ U SUK!1111 _

**_No, you suck, you prissy bitch!_**

_fangz raven 4 di help il promiz to help u wif ur story lolz1_

**_Oh, God! She actually had someone _helping _her with this bullshit? This Raven bitch must be a horrible writer too!_**

**_..._**

**_It's not that Raven bitch from the Unforgiven Attack on Titan story is it?_**

XXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_**Ha. Ha. I see what you did there, it's so funny I busted a gut. Not.**_

"Oh my fuking god!1" I shooted sadly.

_**I'm screaming the same exact fucking thing, only with rage not sorrow.**_

"Shud we get u 2 St Manga's, bitch?"

_**Isn't that a mental hospital? They all need to go to that place!**_

"Hel no!" she said. "Lizzen Egogy,

_**Who da fuck is Lizzen Egogy? Sounds like a name from the Vesarian clan. ...I fucking hate their scaly asses.**_

I need ur help. Nex tim u go bak in tim, do u fink u kod ask Tom Andorson 4 sum help?"

_**Hahaha! Why the fuck would Tom want to help? Who the fuck is Tom Andorson anyways? **_

"Sure I said sadly.

_**The Hell do you have to be sad about? You're not reading this piece of trash!**_

I went outside the door. Draco was there!111 He wuz wearing a big blak GC tshit which wuz his panamas.

**_Wow, big bad boy wearing GC shirts, please, this blondie is just a big wuss. _**

**_EVERYONE here is just a big mess of wussies and pussies!_**

"Hey Sexxy." I said.

_***Snorts and chokes back laughter***_

"How'd it go Enoby?" he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like Gerard Way when hes talking.

**_Oh gag me a river, someone is delusional, Draco does not sound like Gerard Way. It's like the bitch is fucking death or something or never saw the movies!_**

"Fine." I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da dorm.

_**Where two members of the Kurama were waiting and quickly gave them a painful death when the two entered. The end. Can I go now? No? Well fuck you too.**_

"How far did u go wif Satan?" Drako asked jealously.

**_What? WHAT? Satan? WHY THE FUCK DID THEY BRING THAT JACKASS IN HERE?! Where the Hell is he? That idiot owes me fifty bucks! _**

**_ What do you mean it's not really Mr. S?!_**

**_It's really Tom/Voldemort? Why the fuck is Tom calling himself Satan!?_**

"Not 2 far, lol." I borked.

**_I hate it when people say 'LOL', I love to kill them for it though *Cracks knuckles and smiles maliciously*_**

"Will you hav to do it with him?" Draco asked angstily.

"I hop not 2 far!111" I shouted angrily.

_**So how far is 'too far'? You're not really giving him any assuring answers, you fucking idiot.**_

Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him. I said sorry. We frenched.

**_Ugh, yauck! Bleh! _**

"What happened 2 Snipe?" I growled.

"U will see." Draco giggled mistressly.

_**What? So Draco is a fucking mistress now?**_

He opened a door…Snap nd Lumpkin werz there!11

_**What the fuck are they doing in a closet?**_

Serious waz pokering dem by staging dem wif a blak nife.

_**THIS IS SO HARD TO MAKE SENSE OF!**_

"NOOOO PLZ!1111" Lumpkin bagged as Serious started 2 suk his blood.

_**Serious! Bad! You are not a fucking vampire and Lupin is your friend! Even I don't go and suck my friends blood! **_

I laffed statistically.

_**How does someone laugh 'statistically', do you have like some graph next to you or some shit like that?**_

I tok some photons of him and Snap

_**A photon is a particle representing a quantum of light or another electromagnetic radiation, it is not something you can 'take of someone', you dumb bitch. At least learn some physics before you start misusing it!**_

bing torqued.

_**I want to say they used torque somewhat right, but I know in my heart that she meant torture. **_

(ok I no dis iz men

_**This is not men, This. Is. Sparta you bitch! **_

but fink abot it ppl dey r pedoz nd Snap trid 2 rap dem

_**Do **_**not _give me that look! Just because I'm a demon doesn't mean I support rape and pedophiles, you sick fucks! _**

**_But Tara or whatever the fuck her name is, is a sick fuck for twisting their characters like this!_**

and neway sadiztz rok haz any1 seen shrak atak 3 lolz).

_**...the fuck?**_

_**I honestly hate Shark Attack, those movies are such a fucking bore!**_

We took sum of Snipe's blod den Drako and I went bak 2 our roomz.

_**Where two of my soldiers in the Kurama killed them! Please!**_

We sat on my goffik blak coffin.

_**At this point, I'm completely sick of 'goths'.**_

My cloves were kinda drity so I pot on a blak leather outfit fingie kinda like da 1 Suelene haz in Undreworld.

**_That chick was _hot. _But the outfit on you? Not hot. _**

_(if u haven't herd of it den FUK U!111)_

_**And people say I have anger issues. This girl goes on a rampage if you haven't heard or seen something she likes. **_

_**But on another note; no, FUCK YOU!**_

. I put on some blak platform high heelz.

_**Why the fuck is she wearing heels when she's obviously going to fuck Draco!?**_

Darko put on 'desolition liverz' by MCR. Den….we storted 2 take of eachotherz clozez.

_**Oh my God, you just got dressed for the sake of taking it off! These people are fucking idiots or something! I've never seen anything so fucking stupid before in my life! **_

I tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak, lolz.

_**Six pack? Hah, I've got an eight-pack, bitch. **_

We started 2 mak out lik in Da Grudge.

_**Another movie that just bored me to death. But it's fucking weird to compare a makeout session to the Grudge.**_

He pot his wetnes in my u-know-what sexily.

_**All right, so Ebony is suddenly a horny man and Draco is suddenly a horny chick. Bravo, bravo.**_

I gut an orgy.

_**There is only two of you, two does not make a orgy you shithead.**_

"Oh Draco!111111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Draco!1111" I screemed passively

_**Passively is a horrible word to do that, but you obviously must not be enjoying it at all. **_

as he got an eructation.

**He already has a fucking erection you fuckass!**

"I luv u TaEbory." he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol.

_**She even put part of her name in that! Also, you know what I hate about sex? When your partner passes out right after! There should be some kind of tender or sweet moment after that, make sure your partner is okay, make sure everything went okay or just to say something other than the most cliché thing ever and passing out!**_

* * *

Khaxan stood up, dropping the now empty pill bottle onto the floor with Spades' empty beer bottles, "This was a fucking piece of shit," he said and glared at the crowd, "But you guys should feel blessed or some shit that I was your host for this episode! Hopefully I wont have to do this again, but most likely I'll be dragged into other reviews if people demand I am."

He stalked off and flipped the world the birdie, "Fuck you all. I'm going home and am going to dunk my head into acid so I can forget this day!"


	34. Lets Do The Time Warp Again

**Hey, no Khaxan today, sorry. If you want to see him review another chapter of this or another story, just say the word. And we'll think about it.**

* * *

_AN: SHOT DA FOK UP PREPZ!1111 _

**Never!**

**We shall never be silenced.**

_hav u even red de story!11_

**Hmm...well we are doing a review and commentary of each and every chapter...**

**So I'd say we read the story.**

_ u r proly al just prepz nd posrs so FUK U!111 _

**Why would I be jealous?**

_fangz 2 raven 4 da help!1_

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I wook up in da coffin de next day.

**No one gives a single fuck.**

Draco waz gone.

**Run, Draco, Run!**

**Get your Slytherin ass out of there while you have the chance!**

I got up and put on a blak tight sexah drsss that was all ripped at da end.

**Sounds like the farthest thing from 'sexy'.**

There wuz red korset stuff going up da fornt and da bak and it came up 2 my knees.

**Still sounds stupid.**

There wuz a slit in da dress lik in mr & mr simth.

**No one gives a fuck.**

**I'm sick of the clothing descriptions. **

I pot on ripped blak fishnets and blak stilton bo-ots. Suddenly….

**Suddenly she launched into another clothing description.**

Sorious cocked on da door. I hopened it.

**Sorious cocked the door? Okay?**

"Hi Ibony." he said. "Gezz wut u have 2 cum 2 Profesor Sinistor's office."

**Her name is Enoby, not Ebony.**

**Pfff...I guess she truly does love Professor S more then as a professor. Or she's a whore.**

"Ok." I said in a deprezzd voice.

**You're not fooling anyone with fake depression, Enoby.**

I had wanted to fuk Draco or maybe lessen to MCR or Evonezcence.

**Oh, wow, having sex is tied with listening to music.**

**I feel bad for the guy now.**

**I don't, I mean if its the right songs, I'd prefer to listen to that then have sex. I think.**

I came anyway.

**Pffft!**

"So what the fuck happened 2 Snipe and Loopin?" I asked Sorious flirtily

**I'm trying to figure out if this is Sirius or some other guy**.

**But Enoby is a slut~**

"I fucking tortured them." he answered in a statistic way.

**Not cool So not cool.**

**Statistic way? How do you do something in a statistic way?**

"They r in Abkhazian now, lol."

**Isn't Azkaban a better choice?**

I laughed evilly.

**She _is _pretty evil.**

"Where r Draco and Vampira?" I muttered.

**I'm going to pretend that Vampira is the female Harry/Vampire.**

"Dey are xcused form skool 2day." Sodomize moaned sexily.

**Ew. Why would anyone just 'moan sexily' in the middle of talking? **

**Why were they excused from class?**

"Rite now they are watching Da Nigtmare b4 Xmas."

**Oh my God, I'm sorry guys but I just hate it when people replace Christmas with Xmas in 'The Nightmare Before Christmas'. Its like, its title is _Christmas _not _Xmas_! Just get the title right for the love of God.**

We went into da office. Proffesor Sinister was there. She was wearing a goffik blak dress that was all ripped all over it

**No one gives a shit~**

kinda lik da one Amy Lee wears in this pic

**What picture? I see no picture.**

She wuz drinking some Volximortserum.

**Addiction much?**

**Didn't she ask for help on ending the addition?**

She took out da Pensiv and the time-torner.

"Enoby, you will have to do anozzer session now. Also I need u to get me da cure 4 being adikited." she said sadly. "Good luck. Fangz!"

**I honestly doubt there will be a cure seventy some years into the past. **

And then….I jumped into the Prinsive again. Suddenly I looked around…I was in da Grate Hall eating Count Chorcula.

**It doesn't work that way.**

It was mourning.

**Ha ha, good one. Not.**

**Unless of course they were mourning the arrival of Enoby, I mean she's a shitty character and I'd go into mourning at the thought of dealing with her.**

I was sitting next to Satan. On a table was a tall gottik man wif long blak hair, pail skin and blue eyes wering a suit and blak Cronvrese shoes. He looked just like Charlyn Manson.

**FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-**

I noticed…he was drinking a portent.

"Whose he!11" I asked.

"Oh, datz Profesor Slutborn."

**pfft...Slutborn...hehehehe**

Satan said. "He's da Portents teacher…..Ebony?"

"Yah?" I asked.

"Did u know dat Marylin Mason is playing in Hogsemade tonight?

***Table Flip* NO THEY ARE NOT!**

And they r showing The Exercise at da movies b4 dat."

**I don't think that movie even existed yet.**

**I'm pretty sure it didn't.**

"Yah?"

"Well…...want 2 go 2 da contort and da movie wif me?"

**And because Ebony/Tara are a major sluts who can't stay with one man. She agrees and probably fucks Voldemort.**


	35. Green No and Marty McNo

_AN: fangz 2 suzi 4 da idea!1_

**Do I want to know what the idea was?**

**I know I don't.**

_ u rok! fuk of prepz!11111111 __fangz 2 raven 4 di help u rok gurl!1 ps im gong 2 end da stroy rlly sun so FUK U!111_

**It's ending soon?**

**Hallelujah!**

**I think we got nine chapters left.**

_ oh yah nd if u no eny gofik namz plz tel me koz I ned 1 4 serius!1 fangz._

**Here's a name: YouFuckingSuck**

**That's not gothic but it'll do. **

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

I went in2 da Jew Room

**Kind of racist or anti-s-I don't even know what it's called-much?**

finking of Satan. Suddenly I gasped…..Draco wuz there!111

**Why is here here?**

**I wish I knew. He needs to run. **

I grasped. He locked as hut as eva werring blak ledder pants, a blak Lonken Prak t-shrit and blak eyeliner.

**Linkin Park didn't exist this far back.**

"Draco what da fuk r u dong!111111" I gosped.

"Huh?" he asked. Then I remembred. It wuzn't Draco. It was Lucan!1 He stil had two arms.

**He lost an arm? **

**I...don't remember this. People, did Lucius ever lose an arm?**

"Oh hi Lucian!1" I sed. "Im Ebony the new student lol we shook handz."

**Please tell me she didn't actually say 'we shook hands'.**

**I'm hoping she didn't actually say 'lol' out loud. I hate it.**

"Yah Satan told me abot you." Lusian said. He pinted to a groop of sexxxy gottik guyz. They where siting in a corner kutting.

**My nose is burning at the smell of all these wannabe emo bitches.**

**Why is your nose burning because of it?**

**Because they all reek of patheticness **

It wuz Serious, Vampire's dad and…Snap!

**Newsflash; Snape and James never got along as kids.**

All of them were wearing blak eyeliner and blak Good Chralootte band shirts. "Lizzen I'm in a goth band wif those guys." he said. "Were playing 2nite at da Marylin Mason show as back-up.

**I want to kill someone so badly right now.**

**I'll hold them down while you stab them.**

REALLY I ESKED.

**NOT REALLY I SAID.**

"Yeah." he said. "Were calld XBlakXTearX.

**Urge to kill, rising.**

I play teh gutter. Spartacus plays da drums" he said ponting to him. "Snap plays the boss. And Jamez plays the guitar to even fo we call him Samaro, after Samara in da ring."

**Urge to kill, rising.**

"Hey bastards." I told them they gave me Dethz tuch sin.

**Yep, she is so cool, she calls her friends bastards.**

Suddenly I gasped again. "But don't u have a lead singer!" I asked. Lucian looked dawn sadly.

**I know where this is going and no!**

"We uzd to but she did. She contempted suicide by silting her rists."

**I'm not surprised, you all try to kill yourself.**

"Oh my fuking god!11 Datz so fuking sad!1" I gasped.

**I don't find it sad since you do it every. single. chapter.**

"Its okay but we need a new led black person." Samaro said.

**A new lead black person? Okay?**

"Wel…..I said Im in a bnad myself."

**No one cares about your shitty band.**

"Rilly?" asked Snap. I cudnt belive it. He used 2 b goffik!111

**I can see it.**

**Same.**

"Yeah were called Blody Gothik Rose 666. Do u wanna hr me sing?"

**NO!**

**FUCK NO! You sound like a dying cat!**

Yeah said everyone. So the guys tok out der guitarz. They began to pay a song bi (geddit koz bi guyz r sooo sexah!11)

**You know what, people who say that make me want to beat the shit out of them. It's like they only care about the guys sexuality, it's so fucking annoying.**

**I honestly don't like it either, I mean come on, it's stupid. A guy is a guy, sexuality doesn't decide if their 'sexy' or not.**

Gurn Day.

**Quit**

**Destroying**

**Awesome**

**Bands**

**With**

**Your**

**Shitty**

**Singing.**

"I wok dis empt stret on da bolevrad of broken dremz." I sang sexily

**OH MY GOD NO! NOT THAT SONG! THAT IS LIKE MY FAVORITE GREEN DAY SONG! DONT TOUCH IT! GET YOUR FILTHY SHITTY HANDS OFF OF IT! GET AWAY NOW TARA OR BY GOD I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN!**

***HIGHBLOOD RAGE MODE ACTIVE***

_(I dnot own da lyrikz 2 dat song)_..

**If you did no one would listen to it.**

**IF YOU DID I WOULD HURT YOU.**

Every1 gasped.

**Because her singing is so fucking shitty that it caused their ears to bleed!**

**Whoa there, calm down M.C, calm.**

"Enopby? Will u join da band? Plz!1" begged Lucian, Samoro, Serious and Snap.

**OH GOD NO! NO!**

**M.C! CALM IT YOU ANGRY MIDGET! Stay cool Mr. Cool, Stay Cool. **

**...I hate this story...so...fucking...muuuuch!**

"Um….ok." I shrugged. "Are we gong to play tonight?"

**I hate it _sooooooo_ much! Just kill me now! please!**

**Calm down, jeeze.**

"Yah." they said.

"Ok." I said but I new dat I had 2 get a new outfit. I walked outside wondering how I kud go forward in time. Suddenly someone jumped in fornt of me. It wuz…..Morty Mcfli!1]]

**The kid from Back to the Future?**

**OH FUCK NO! THE ENKINDLERS WILL STRIKE YOU DOWN WITH THEIR HOLY ENLIGHTENED LIGHTNING YOU PEICE OF TRASH! YOU DO NOT TOUCH THAT AWESOME MOVIE OR ITS CHARACTERS! NO!**

***DEMON MODE ACTIVE***

**And here she is telling _me _to calm down.**

He was wering a blak bnad tshrit and blak bagy jeans.

**HE IS NOT GOTH!**

"What da hell r u dong here!11" I asked.

"I wil help u go frowad in tim Enoby." he said siriusly Den….he took out a blak tim machine. I went in2 it and…..sudenly I wuz forward in tim!111

**M.C! Grab Tara and Enoby! Hold them down while I stab them for bringing Marty into this!**

**Okay. I got no problems with murder.**


	36. A Hagrid in A Cupboard

_AN: I sed stop flaming ok!111111111_

**Never~**

_ I bet u r al proly old srevinty yr oldz!111_

**M.C, are you seventy years old?**

**Last I checked I was 53 years younger than that. Are you seventy?**

**Nope, I'm 17 like you.**

_ ps PORTERSUZ UR A PREP!1 _

**At least Portersuz is not a faker like you.**

_o ya nd fangz 2 raven 4 di help!111 hav fun in englond gurl!11111_

**Don't come back to America, girl.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

**That is really pissing me off now.**

**Same.**

I loked around in a depresed way.

**Why is she depressed?**

**She's always depressed, what are you talking about?**

Suddenly I saw Profesor Sinister. B'lody Mary, Socrates and Draco, Vampire and Willow were their to.

**So the entire clan of stupidity is here.**

"OMFG Sorius I saw u nd Samaro and Snip nd everyone!11111 I kant beleev Snap uzd 2 b goffik!111111"

**Seriously, Snape is like the only one who would make sense to be goth!**

"Yah I no." Serious said sadly.

"Oh hey there bitch." Profesor Trevolry said

**Seriously, why is she so rude?**

**I don't know. She's like a ruder version of you, M.C.**

in an emo voice dirnking some Volxemortserom .

**She has a problem all right, she's always drinking one.**

Hi fuker." I said.

**Hey bitch, ready to die? *Holds up bat***

"Lizzen, Satan asked me out to a gottik cornet and a movie so I need a sexah new outfit for da date.

**No you don't. You'll only look more hideous.**

Also I'm playng in a gothic band so I need an ootfit for that too."

**Like M.C said, you'll look more hideous.**

"Oh my satan!1" (geddit lolz koz shes gofik)

**Ha. Ha. So not funny.**

gasped B'lody Mary. "Want 2 go to Hot Topik to shop 4 ur outfit?"

"OMFS, letz have a groop kutting session!11" said Profesor Trevolry.

**...**

**...**

"I can't fucking wait 4 dat but we need 2 get sum stuff first." said Willow.

**I totally forgot she's alive again.**

"Yah we need sum portions for Profesor Trevolry so she wont be adikted 2 Volxemortserum anymore nd also….sum luv potion 4 Enoby." Darko said resultantly.

**I think the addiction is a bigger problem then Raven.**

**You mean Enoby?**

**They're practically the same person okay!**

"Well we have potions klass now." Willow said so let's go.

We went sexily to Potionz class. But Snap wasn't there. Instead there was…Cornelio Fuck!11111

**Cornelio Fuck? Hehehehe!**

"Hey where the fuck is Dumblydore!111" Draco shouted angrily.

**Don't you mean where the fuck is Snape?**

"STFU!1" shooted Cornelia Fuck. "He is in Azkhabian now wif Snip and Loopin he is old and week he has kancer. "Now do ur work!111"

**What?! Dumbledore has Cancer?! WHAT?!**

**SHE DID NOT GIVE THE OLD BASTARD CANCER! NOPE!**

My friendz and I talked arngrily.

"Can you BELEVE Snap used to be gottik!1" Vampire asked surprisedly.

**Seriously? SERIOUSLY?! He's the most likely to be that!**

"DATZ IT!11" CORNELIO FUK SHOOTED ARNGRILY. "IM GETTING PROFESOR BRIDGE!111"

**Who's Professor Bridge?**

He stomped out angrily.

Mi frendz and I began talking again. I began to drink some blod mixed wif beer.

**Underage! Underage!**

Suddenly I saw Hargrid in da cupboard.

**He's in a cupboard?**

**How did he fit in there?**

"WTF is he doing?" I asked.

**I agree, what is he doing in there?**

Then I looked at Draco. He wuz wearing tonz of eyeliner nd he locked shexier den eva.

**Was that necessary?**

Suddenly…"HARGRIF WUT DA FOK R U DOING!11" he shooted.

**That's what we're wondering.**

I looked around….Hairgrid wuz putting sumfing in my glass of blod!11

**Poison**

**Please have Hagrid be poisoning her!**

Darko and Vampire started 2 beat him up sexily.

**How is that sexy?**

**I don't know.**

"God u r such a posr!1" I shooted at Hairgrid. Suddenly I looked ar what he was putting in da blood. It was…Amnesia Portion!111

**Give me that potion now!**

**We will need it when this is over.**


	37. Britney is Back!

_AN: OK EVRYBODY IM GONG ON VOCATION ON DA FRIST OF JULY_

**What, you don't want to be at home for the 4th of July?**

_ SO IM EEDER GONNA END DA FIK OR UPDAT IT IN WEEX. _

**Well, it's not over just yet, so she continued updating it.**

**Sadly.**

_fangz!1 oh yah nd prepz stop flaming sa story!11 raven fangz 4 da help c ya gurl afta vocation!11_

**Why is Raven still here?**

**I would have ran if I were her.**

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

DARKO'S PONT OF VIEW LOL

**Yeah, LOL, right.**

**What's funny about a pov change?**

**Nothing.**

Vampire and I chaind Hairgrid 2 da floor.

"Oh mi fucking satan!11" Enoby said. She wuz so hot.

**No. She's not.**

"Maybe I cud uze Amnesia potion 2 make Satan foll in love wif me faster!1"

**How would that' work? He'd have no memories of her at all.**

"But u r so sexy and wonderful aneway Tata," said Vampire.

**Another obvious point that Ebony is Tara.**

"Why would u need it?"

**Because no one with a sane mind would ever date Enoby?**

**Because he'd need to forget the horrible experience as soon as Tara ended the story?**

"To make everyfing go faster lol." said Enoby.

**It would slow it down, not make it go faster.**

"But you wont have to do it wif him or anyfing, will u?" I asked jelosly.

"OMFG u guyz r so scary!11" said Britney, a fucking prep.

**No they aren't scary.**

**BRITNEY! You're back! You're the hero remember? KILL EBONY!**

"Shut the fuk up!1" said Willow.

**Seriously, what did Britney ever do to them?**

**Nothing, Ebony and co are just a bunch of fucking bullies.**

"Ok well anyway lets go 2 Profesor Trevolry's room."

**Is she the addict or no? I still don't know if there are two separate professors or she just mixes up their names, a lot.**

Draco, Ebory and I went to Profesor Siniater's room. But Profesor Sinister wasn't there. Instead Tom Rid was.

**Oh my Enkindlers! It's Riddle, not Rid!**

Oh hi fuckers he said. Lizzen, I got u sum kewl new clovez.

**Why is he here? Just for clothes? Oh God just stop. **

I took out da cloves from da bag. It was a goffik blak leather miniskirt that said '666' on da bak, black stilton bootz, blood red fishnetz and a blak corset.

**Satanism =/= Goth. They are not the same thing.**

"OMG fangz!" I said hugging him in a gothic way. I took da clothes in da bag.

**What's different between a hug and a gothic hug?**

"OK Profesor Sinister isnt hr what the fuk should we do?" asked Draco. Suddenly he loked at a sign on da blak wall.

**"I've gone on vacation to get the fuck away from this nut house. Bye."**

"Oh my fuking satan!1" I screamed as I read it. On it said Evry1 Profesor Sinister is away. She is too gottik she is in Azkhabian now.

**Good for her.**

Classes shal be taught by Dubledork who is bak but he shall not be principal 4 now. Sincerely Profesor Rumbridge.

**I have no problems with this.**

"OMFG!111" I shoted arngrily. "How could they do that!11"

**Because they have the authority **

Suddenly Dumblydore came.

"WHAT DA HELL R U DONG IN MY OFICE!1" he began to shoot angrily. Sudwenly I saw Morty Mcfly's blak tim machine!111

**...why is there a car in there?**

I jumped seductivly in2 it leaving Draco and Vampire.

**Wait, wait, wait! When did it go to Ebonys POV? **

**Don't know, just roll with it.**

Sudenly I wuz back in tim!11 I looked around. It was…Profesor Slutborn's efface! I sneaked around. Suddenly I saw da Amnesia potion on his desk. It wuz blak wif blood-red pentagramz in it. It was the shape of a cross. I put it in my poket. Suddenly da door opened it wuz…..Profesor Slutgorn!11

**KILL HER PROFESSOR!**

OMG wut r u doing fuker he shooted angrily I don't kno wut da fuk r u DOING I SHOUTED ANGRILY.

**Wow, way to not get in trouble, yelling at the teacher.**

"Oh sorry I wuz just looking around koz I thought it wuz class." you said finally hoping he couldn't c da potion in ur pocket.

**He'll have to be blind not to see it.**

"Oh ok u can go now." said Profesor Slutborn.

You went to the conmen room after putting on my clothes. Silas, Samaro and Snap were there practicing Vampirez will Never Hurt U by MCR.

"Oh hi you guys." I said seductively. "Wheres Satan?"

**Is Ebony a whore?**

**You decide!**

"Oh he's cumming." said Serious.

**Hehe**

"BTW u can kall me Hades now."

**Wait who said that?**

**I don't know? But they better not mess up the name Hades! Hades was an awesome god!**

Suddenly Satan came. He was wearing a smexxy blak leather Jackson, blak congres shoes, a Slipnot t-shirt and a blak tie.

"Ok I will see you guyz at da concert." I said and then I went with Satan.

**STALKER ALERT!**


End file.
